Live to Lynn
by LoudAutomata16
Summary: A series of one-shots revolving around Lynn Loud.
1. Lynn and Lisa

**Author's notes: Welcome everyone, to my second fan fiction and first non-oneshot. Well, kind of. Originally, this was going to be a series of one-shots about the whole family, but it changed into a more Lynn-centric story after I realized that I had more story ideas about her than the other sisters. Maybe it's because she's my favorite. I don't know. Anyway, this series will just be a collection of one-shots, with no set update schedule.**

 **Hope you enjoy it.**

It was an average day at the Loud House. Lori was busy texting her beloved Boo Boo Bear, Leni was looking for a missing needle, Luna was tuning her axe, Luan was making pies in kitchen for an upcoming prank, Lincoln was reading comics in his underwear, Lucy was writing her poetry in the vents, Lana was outside in the mud, Lola was applying and experimenting with makeup, and Lily was being changed by her parents.

That accounted for all the Loud siblings, except for two. A certain jock and scientist were having a discussion in the scientist's lab.

"Come on, you got to help me study," begged Lynn, the sporty tomboy of the Loud Family.

"Incorrect. The only thing I 'got' to do is find a method to turn Element 82 into Element 79," replied her younger sister of 11 years, Lisa, who was busy working at her desk on a few lumps of metal.

Lynn looked at her, confused.

Lisa sighed. "I want to turn lead into gold. It was the great pursuit of alchemists, from ancient Egypt to Early Modern Europe. Science has shown that it is only possible to do so with nuclear transmutation, so I am trying an experiment to augment the number of protons through chemical means, something modern chemists generally agree is unfeasible. But then again, modern chemists never created a sentient trash monster," she ended with a smirk.

Lynn was still confused, but did her best to hide it and get back on topic.

"Look, I just need you to help me study for an upcoming test about World War 2. I failed the last test, and if I fail this one, I'll be sent to…"

Lynn gulped, and said in a voice that was barely a whisper.

"…summer school."

She could imagine it now. Being locked away from the warm summer sun and forced to stay inside, studying material she didn't care about at all. No soccer on the green grass, instead writing notes on a scratched-up desk. No sweet sounds of a basketball being dribbled on the court, instead the constant lectures from an unhappy instructor. No diving and swimming in a pool to cool off from the heat, instead diving into an ocean of ink shaped as letters that meant nothing to her.

Lynn shuddered at the thought.

"While I sympathize with you, dear elder sibling," said Lisa, "I can't find the time to tutor you. Not when I'm on the verge of a scientific discovery that will not only change the course of chemistry as we know it, but also alleviate some of our financial woes."

Lynn listened to her reply, thought about it for a couple of seconds, then nodded at her younger sister and left. Lisa highly doubted that her headstrong and stubborn sister would relent that easily, but was far more interested in her work than what her sister was going. After a few minutes, Lynn reappeared in her sister's doorway, holding a baseball bat.

Lisa looked at it, unimpressed. "I highly doubt that you're going to use that on me."

Lynn grinned and pulled her younger brother Lincoln, still in his undies, into her sister's view.

"LISA! PLEASE! SHE'S HURT ME BEFORE! SHE'LL DO IT AGAIN!" said the panicked boy.

Lisa thought about. It was her policy not to negotiate with terrorists, but a healthy Lincoln was far preferable to a Lincoln with broken legs. Then again…

"LISA!"

"Alright, fine," relented the genius. "Put the bat down. I'll help you with your studying."

"Woo-hoo," cheered Lynn. She let Lincoln go, but not before whispering in his ear "Nice acting, bro."

"I've had… lots of experience," Lincoln whispered back.

Lynn turned back to Lisa, beaming. "So, where do we start?"

Lisa went to her drawer and pulled out a small packet. "First, take this test. It's a sort of placement test, to help indicate to me your knowledge levels and how much help you need."

She handed the papers to Lynn. "You have 30 minutes to solve 20 questions. Good luck."

Lynn nodded and got to work on the test. She wanted to give her sister the best results possible. She worked as hard as she could, dug into the deep recesses of her memory and knowledge of world history, made sure to check and double check her answers…

"Not a single question right. How is that even possible?" said Lisa in complete shock when the computer printed her results. She then looked at Lynn's paper herself, to make sure there was no error.

She checked the test, then looked at Lynn.

"Why did you answer every single question 'C'?"

Lynn shrugged. "In my experience, teachers usually try to hide the right answer at C."

Lisa looked at her, completely baffled. "Maybe on a multiple-choice exam, but this was a True/False test!"

Lynn just shrugged again.

"You're going to need a great deal of assistance. I guess there's no use delaying it any further," said Lisa as she pushed her glasses up her nose.

Lynn nodded. "Let's hit the books."

* * *

Nearly half an hour in, and Lisa was pleasantly surprised to see that Lynn was actually trying. She chalked it up to effectiveness of the threat of summer school.

Unfortunately, trying was not actually succeeding.

Despite her efforts, the sporty girl was just that; a sporty girl. Aside from the brief mention of Jesse Owens, Lynn just couldn't comprehend much about the subject.

"So if the Nazis hated communists, why did they ally with the Russia?"

"First, they signed a non-aggression pact with the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, of which Russia was only one, albeit the largest and most powerful. Secondly, they did so because they weren't ready at the time to take on the Soviet Union."

"But weren't they the ones who broke the pact?"

"Yes, they mistakenly believed that they could easily engage in combat with their ideological rivals."

"And I thought they wanted to kill everyone who wasn't German, so why would they ally with anyone? And why would anyone ally with them?"

"Well, it's a little more complicated than that. They liked some non-Germans, just not Eastern Europeans, like the people of the USSR. Furthermore…"

"Wait, so what you're saying is that Germany hated the Eastern Europeans specifically, hated their ideology specifically and were planning on attacking them from the beginning?" Lynn blinked at her smart sister confusedly. "So why did the Nazis ally with Russia?"

Lisa gave a sigh. The entire study session had been like this.

"I'm going to get some concentrated citrus drink (street name: orange juice). Try to read up on… something while I'm gone."

As soon as Lisa left, Lynn went back to the page with Jesse Owens.

In the kitchen, Lisa poured herself some juice and debated with herself what she was doing wrong.

"Hey Lis, what's up?"

Lisa looked up to see her brother Lincoln grabbing a jar of peanut butter.

"If you recall, older fraternal unit, in exchange for Sporty sparing you a beating, I've agreed to help her study for her upcoming test about the second World War."

Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, about that…"

"But there is a problem. She doesn't seem to be learning anything. I can see she wants to, so it isn't laziness on her part. Am I… just a bad teacher?" she asked Lincoln, but almost like she was asking herself.

Lincoln put his hand on her shoulder. "No, Lisa. You're not a bad teacher. You've helped a lot of us with our tests. Remember how Lori got an 'A' on her trig test thanks to you? Or how I aced my English exam because you wrote me such a good book summary for my assigned reading?"

Lisa thought back to those instances. "Then what am I doing wrong here?"

Lincoln thought about it for a second, then an idea struck him.

"Lisa, remember that time, when we got tired of doing work for Lori in exchange for rides around town? How did we teach Leni how to drive?"

Lisa was recalling the occasion, and what her brother was getting at struck her. "You're right. I should have been teaching Lynn in the way that she could understand. Lincoln, you're usually a complete buffoon, but your occasional flashes of brilliance are astounding."

"Thanks, I guess," said Lincoln.

She quickly gulped down her juice and ran towards her room.

"Lynn. Put the books down. I've got to tell you about this spectacular wrestling match."

Lynn immediately perked up. "Ooooh, cool. Between who and who?"

Lisa grinned, glad to see she had caught her sibling's attention. "Between Dwight D. Eisenhower and Benito Mussolini. But before we get into the fight, let's talk about the causes of the confli… I mean, the call-outs."

The two studied together for the rest of the evening, as Lisa regaled her older sister with tales of a great soccer match between the Allied Powers Club and the Tripartite Pact United.

* * *

Two days later, Lisa was in the park, digging up worms for an upcoming experiment she had planned, which would involve them, some of Lily's dirty diapers, a plastic bin and some details so revolting they would have you fleeing to the nearest toilet.

"Well looky here, boys. It's a nerdy freak girl, playing in the mud."

Lisa looked up. She saw three older guys, probably around Lucy's age, which to a kindergartner is a vast chasm of age and, more importantly, physical strength. She then looked around for Lori, who was supposed to be watching her, but she must have gone to the bathroom.

One of the boys snatched her glasses right off her face.

"Hey! Give those back. My ocular organs aren't strong enough to see without them," said the poor girl in a panicked tone.

The bullies just laughed.

"I wonder how much I can get for one of these. You know, glasses are pretty expensive nowadays," said the boy holding her glasses.

Lisa jumped up and did her best to grab them from him. Unfortunately, the boy was too tall, so he lifted the glasses up in the air with one arm and used the other to push Lisa into the mud.

"You know, you'd think you'd look dirtier if you fell in the mud, but seeing how your hair is the same nasty color as the dirt, I don't think it matters."

The other two boys laughed like the world's nastiest hyenas.

Lisa was on the ground. She didn't much care for crying, but it sounded nice right about now…

"HEY! Leave her alone."

Lisa looked up. Though her vision was blurry, she could make out a distinct and familiar red color coming towards her.

The bullies looked in the direction of the voice and saw Lynn walking up to them, anger strongly evident in her eyes.

"Go away, soccer mom. Pick on someone your own size."

Lynn's nostrils flared. "Well, clearly, you don't have a problem with picking on younger kids, so I don't see why I shouldn't."

"Wait a minute," said one of the bullies. "Are you… Lynn Loud?"

The athlete nodded, still angrily glaring at them.

"Hey, I've seen her do that kung fu and whatnot," said the bully to his friends. "We should really go."

"Don't have to tell me twice," said the other one, and they ran off into the distance, leaving the one holding the glasses behind.

"Looks like we got a real David-and-Goliath thing going on right here," said Lynn, smiling and cracking her knuckles.

"Actually, David wins in the end, so that was a really bad analogy if you were planning on winning," said Lisa, ever-vigilant for mistakes to correct.

"Thank you, Lisa," responded the jock sarcastically.

The bully considered his options. He couldn't back down now, or else he'd be made fun of for running from a girl. He knew what he had to do.

He threw the glasses down to Lisa and quickly ran towards Lynn, fist curled, ready to make an impact…

By the time a wandering couple noticed the young bully lying on the ground, the Loud sisters had already ran pretty far from the park.

* * *

"How did you know I was in trouble?"

"I didn't," said Lynn. "I just came by to tell you the good news: I got an 88 on my test."

Lisa smiled at this, but just for a second. An academic victory was always good news in her book.

"But for real…"

Lynn got on one knee and bent down to Lisa's level.

"Thank you for helping me with the test. I know it couldn't have been easy having to teach someone like me."

"No problemo, sister. After all, teaching and explaining material to someone else is a great way of showing where you stand on Bloom's taxonomy," responded Lisa in a happy tone. "And…uh…thank you for helping me with those hostile preadolescents."

"Pfffft, please, I chase bullies away from Lincoln all the time. That was…"

The athlete didn't complete her sentence because she was just pulled into an embrace by her younger sister. She smiled, and patted her genius sister's back.

Then, Lisa's eyebrows scrunched together, like she was thinking about something. "Aren't we forgetting something?"

* * *

Back at the park, Lori ran around, desperately trying to find her second youngest sister.


	2. Soft-ware-ball

**A/N: Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed the last chapter, and I hope you will enjoy this one. Just two things I need to say before we transition into our heroine's latest misadventure.**

 **First, thank you for the kind reviews. I read them all and I'm very appreciative. Also, thank you to everyone who Favorited and followed. It was very encouraging to see that people wanted to keep reading this story.**

 **Second, there are some people who brought up the question of Lynncoln (In hindsight, I probably should have seen that coming). Let me make it clear: this story will have no Lynncoln. I'm not shaming anyone who enjoys Loudcest, just saying this story isn't about that.**

 **Now on to the story (which, ironically, is about Lynn and Lincoln)…**

Lincoln Loud, the only male child of the Loud Clan, had been watching the living room carefully for the last few minutes. He was planning to play some video games with his best friend, Clyde McBride, so he kept a watch over the TV, making sure that no one was going to use it. The last thing he needed while slaying hordes of Orcs was a bruised finger from fighting with one of his sisters.

After observing for about a good amount of time, the Loud boy felt confident in rushing down the stairs, grabbing the controller and opening up the console menu. If anyone showed up now, it was their fault for being too late, he reasoned with himself.

He grabbed his walkie-talkie from his back pocket. "GreenBrideMonster, this is Viking_WarLoud. Ready to finally beat this dungeon boss?"

"This is GreenBrideMonster," responded Clyde. "Unfortunately… there's not going to be any boss battles today."

"WHAT?!" yelled a shocked Lincoln into his walkie-talkie.

"Ow. Indoor voices, please."

"Sorry," apologized the white-haired boy guiltily.

"It's just that the Internet is down at my house for a while. While I was using my computer, a pop-up ad for some online currency thing showed up on my screen, so now my parents are worried I'm going to end up in a world of online scams and ID theft."

In the background, Lincoln heard Howard say "We do it so you don't end up like… like cousin Hammond," followed by the sound of two adults breaking down and crying.

"It's okay," responded Lincoln, trying (and failing) not to sound disappointed. "It's a dangerous world, after all. Viking_WarLoud out."

He put down the walkie-talkie. He was about to go back to his room when he heard his sister's voice.

"Hey Lincoln. What's up?"

He turned and saw Lynn come out of the kitchen. The first thing Lincoln noticed was that her left eye was covered in tape and gauze, probably injured in a sporting accident. The second thing he noticed was that she was holding a carton of juice. She put the carton to her mouth and drank heavily. If Lola had seen this, she probably would have screamed.

"I thought you were supposed to be at softball practice," replied her brother.

Lynn shook her head. "Coach won't let me play. Not while I have this," she said as she pointed at her bandaged eye. "In PE, I was playing baseball with some amateurs, and I got socked in the face by a baseball bat, compliments of some kid's weak grip. Coach took one look at me and told me to go home and forget about practice. Said he was scared I'd have a concussion or get hit again during practice."

The sports fan rolled her eyes, er, eye.

"I said I could still keep going, but the coach and a couple of my so-called teammates forced me to skip until I'm better. Can you believe them?"

Now it was Lincoln's turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, how could they, acting responsibly and caring for your safety?"

"Exactly," said Lynn, the sarcasm lost on her. "They're all losers who can't handle my realness."

She put the juice down on a nearby table, then sat down on the couch next to Lincoln. "You never answered my original question, though. What are you doing?"

Lincoln sighed. "I was planning on playing 'Saga of the Genesis of the Scrolls' with Clyde, but he can't go online right now. I was looking forward to playing the game with him."

"Bummer," said Lynn. "Well, why don't you just play with yourself?"

The two of them could have sworn they heard Luan giggling upstairs.

"It's a multiplayer game. You need at least two players," explained Lincoln. Then, his face brightened up. "Hey, maybe we can play together?"

Lynn shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry bro. You know I don't do that science fantasy stuff."

Lincoln sank back into the couch. Then he brightened up again. "Wait for just one second," he said to his sister before he jumped from the sofa and ran towards a nearby shelf. After a few seconds of searching, he found what he was looking for. He held up a video game over his head, triumphantly.

Lynn looked at the cover. "Softball: The Video Game?" she read out loud. "That's what they decided to call it?"

Lincoln shrugged. "So, how about it?"

The athlete thought about it for a second. She didn't really care for the world of virtual simulations, and always preferred the real deal. Then again, she could see her little brother was trying, and reasoned that if sports were involved, she'd have some form of fun, so she beamed at him and said:

"Let's PLAY BALL!" she yelled excitedly, throwing her fists into the air.

Lincoln smiled and went to insert the CD into the system.

He threw a controller to Lynn and sat back down. They were almost ready to play when…

"Hold on."

Lincoln paused, looking at his sister. "What's wrong?"

"I almost forgot. My special softball rituals."

Lincoln rolled his eyes again. For a second, he had forgotten how superstitious his older sister was. "It's just a video game. I'm sure the sports spirits won't mind…"

Lynn covered her brother's mouth. "Don't say what they will and won't mind," she whispered to him. "They hate when people do that."

She moved her hand. "Fine," Lincoln relented. "Just please make it quick."

She smiled at him and ran back to her room. She pulled a sweaty, red-and-blue headband out from under her bed.

She then looked at her roommate, Lucy. The young Goth, seeing the headband, understood what was happening, and left to write poetry in the attic.

Lynn began her rituals.

* * *

"Alright, let's start the game," Lynn said as she jumped back on the couch, startling Lincoln.

The startled young boy stared at his sister. "Lynn… you were gone for twenty minutes. I thought you decided you didn't want to play anymore."

The brown-haired girl shrugged. "I made it quick. Like you asked."

Lincoln sighed, and decided the best course of action was to just get over it, and quickly regained his enthusiasm. He put on a confident smile. "Alright, let's play. And just so you know, sports might be your area, but video games are my expertise. Of course, I'll only go easy on you if you ask," he said playfully.

Lynn put on her own confident smirk. "Good, 'cause I'm not asking you to."

The two of them played the game. Both had their advantages. Lynn knew strategies for the game, but Lincoln had mastered the controls. They played hard against one another, laughing and taunting if they got a base or a run, and promising swift vengeance if the other managed to score.

"Someone call the police! Lynn Loud just stole another base!"

"Great. Maybe we can ask them where your deodorant went, 'cause judging by your smell, it's lost."

"About as lost as your players are."

Suddenly, Lynn stopped with the mocking and quieted down for a bit. She looked like she was thinking of something to say.

"You know, this was a really good idea," said the tomboy to her brother.

"How do you figure?" replied Lincoln, not taking his eyes off the screen.

Lynn shrugged. "I guess, you found a nice compromise. It's a video game, but it's also about one of my favorite sports. So we could both enjoy it."

The white-haired youth smiled at her. "Yeah, I guess so."

"It's just that… well… I can't really spend time with you playing video games or reading comics, 'cause I'm just not interested in that stuff. And you can't really play sports because of how low your strength and stamina are."

"Hey!"

"You know it's true."

Lincoln said nothing.

His older sister chuckled, half-amused and half-sympathetic. "What I'm saying is, it's not often we find something we can both agree we want to do. So I'm glad I can share this time with you."

Lincoln looked his sister, directly in her eye, and said:

"Lynn, are you trying to distract me from the game?"

The girl grinned mischievously. "Busted."

The eleven year old laughed a bit at this, but he knew she was trying to be sincere.

The two kept playing their game, until the screen suddenly went completely black. The two booed at the television as all of their progress was lost. Lincoln assumed that the cable must have fell out, so he got up and checked the wires on his console to make sure that the machine wouldn't crash again.

Lincoln then turned to the reader. "It's nice to have someone to play a game with. And in a family as large as mine, I know that there is always someone that I can spend time with when life gets in the way of my plans. All it takes is a little mutual ground."

When the fair-headed boy saw that the game was back on the screen, he sat back down next to his sister, ready to continue the game.

Lynn looked confusedly at her brother. "Lincoln, who were you talking to?"


	3. Of Goths and Gutters: Part 1

**A/N: Welcome back. I planned to release a chapter later during this week, but in honor of 'Net Gains' (such a good episode) I decided to do it early.**

 **Now on to the next Lynn-stallment of this story (Ha-ha. Get it?):**

Lynn was in her room, polishing and shining a bowling trophy, and muttering to herself. Although she couldn't hear too much, her roommate Lucy could make out a few words amongst the rambling and the swearing.

"Better athlete… bowling skills… stupid… hockey stick… she's the shorty."

Eventually, Lucy decided enough was enough and sighed extra loudly.

Lynn cut off her mutters and looked at her dark roommate. "Something wrong, Luce?"

"You've been muttering to yourself for a while now, and it's a little distracting for someone trying to read," she said as she lifted her vampire romance novel up in the air.

"Sorry. It's just that I have a bowling match tonight against She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

Lucy immediately understood. "You mean Maya, don't you?"

Lynn covered her ears. "Don't say her name. If I hear her name before I play against her, I lose. Unless I do this." She grabbed a salt shaker from her drawer and threw one handful of salt over her shoulder, and then one handful into her eye. She cried out in pain as the rocks hit her eye and quickly tried to wash it out with water.

"Now, as I was saying…"

"Maya."

Lynn sighed as she prepared another handful of salt. "Please don't do that again."

The sides of Lucy's mouth twitched, which in her body language was an amused smile, as she watched her older sister repeat the process.

"As I was saying," continued the jock with gritted teeth, "I was at the bowling alley last weekend, playing with my team, when I spot the demoness walking in with her friends. I went over and politely asked them to leave. For some reason, they took offense to that and that's when things got heated. Long story short, she challenged me and my girls to a game and we accepted. Loser has to find the nearest cliff and jump off."

"Really?" Lucy said with a trace of hopeful curiosity.

"No. Everyone struck that down my suggestion as a bad idea. Loser just has to show up to the winner's house in a maid outfit and clean the whole house, top to bottom. That includes floors, walls, utensils and bathrooms. Or in our case, bathroom."

Lynn took a moment to make an evil grin. "I've already promised Lana and Luan that they can have a "Crazy Day" if I win. Lana can have all the mud pies and ant farms she wants, and Luan can play some of her more malicious pranks on someone she doesn't care about. It's win, win, win. Or should I say…"

"I don't think you should."

"Lynn, Lynn, Lynn."

Lucy nodded. "So when are you leaving?"

"When the sun sets. Me and my team'll all meet up at the bowling…"

Just then, Lynn's phone began to ring.

She picked it up. "Hey, what's up? Ready for the game tonight?"

After a few moments of listening, the jock's facial expression changed from excited to angry. She quickly got up and left the room, and slammed the door behind her. For a moment, Lucy heard only silence. Then…

"IF THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE, THEN YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN MY SISTER. DON'T CROSS ME WOMAN. I HAVE DONE WORSE TO PEOPLE FOR LESS. SCREW THAT, ACTUALLY, I WON'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU. BECAUSE YOU ARE _DEAD TO ME_."

"Lynn, keep it down. I'm talking to Bobby," came the voice of Lori.

"MAKE ME!"

Lucy heard the sound of footsteps rushing down the hall, stopping in front of their door. Lynn walked in a few seconds later, smiling very widely and nervously.

"Of course, all you need to do to make me quiet down is show me your very dominating aura. You have such a strong presence, dear sister."

Lynn quickly, but gently, closed the door behind her, and turned to Lucy.

"Bad news. My team is now missing one member for our 4-on-4 game. Where am I going to find a fourth member for our team at this hour?"

Lucy closed her book. "That's quite the predicament. If only you had some siblings you could ask."

It took a few seconds to register, but eventually Lynn realized what the goth was saying.

"You're right. I have spare team members all over this house. In fact, Luce…"

"Yes?" said the eight year old vampire fan, expecting an invitation.

"What do you think is the best way to ask Luan is? Knock-knock joke or celebrity pun?"

Lucy let out a disappointed sigh. "I guess celebrity pun."

"Mmhmm, good to know in case you turn me down."

Lucy looked at her sister confusedly.

Lynn let out a small chuckle. "You think I would ask Luan before I asked you?"

Lucy wasn't one for letting her emotions show, but Lynn could tell that she was happy (read: less sad) to have been asked.

"OK. I'll do it."

Lynn nodded. "Alright, Luce. Welcome to the 'Lynner, Lynner, Turkey Dinner Squad.'"

"Isn't it supposed to be 'Chicken Dinner?'"

Lynn gave her sister a confident grin. "When you get as many turkeys in bowling as we do, it's hard not to make that a part of your identity."

* * *

"Alright girls. I'll be back in about two hours. Are you sure you have enough money for everything?"

"Yes, dad, we have eno…" Lucy was stopped by Lynn covering her mouth.

"What Lucy meant to say is that we could use just a little more."

"Say no more, Lucy," responded Lynn Sr. as he reached into his wallet and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. He handed it to his daughters, said a final goodbye, and drove off.

Lucy shot her sister an accusatory look (to the best of her ability).

The jock shrugged. "He offered it. More importantly, what do you think of the shirts?"

Before they left the house, Lynn offered Lucy a sort of uniform that she had asked Leni to make for all four players. It was a black shirt, except with for the writing in the front that read, in dark crimson 'Lynner Lynner Turkey Dinner' with each word stacked on top of the other. And on the back was the picture of a goose.

Not a turkey. A goose.

"I like it. It's as majestically raven as my beloved Edwin's hair."

Lynn sighed of relief, thankful that her kid sister liked the shirt. "I'm just glad that the _TRAITOR'S_ shirt size was the same as yours."

"I didn't think there was any else smaller than you in sports. Or just anyone smaller than you in Royal Woods," replied Lucy.

Lynn gave her younger sister an annoyed look. "You're rather snarky today."

Lucy gave her a wide and awkward smile.

"Alright, let's go look for the other girls. I want to give them their shirts before the Dark Lord shows up."

The two of them walked in and found the other two members of their party waiting for them. Margo from Lynn's baseball team and Polly Pain from Lynn's roller derby team waved at them, and the two Loud sisters went over to them.

"Hey Lynn," said Margo as she gave her friend a high-five. "And… Lucy. Hi," she waved friendlily towards the black haired girl. "I didn't know you liked bowling."

"I like the morbid animations you get when you get a strike," replied Lucy. "The suffering inflicted on those pins, like their own personal purgatory. Sigh, it's wonderful."

The other three stared at the moody girl, expecting some sort of response, but Lucy stood her ground.

"Anyways…" said Lynn, trying to take the focus off her younger sibling, "…look at these uniforms I asked my older sister to make us."

The other two took the shirts.

"'Lynner Lynner Turkey Dinner,'" read Margo. "I would be mad that you named the team after yourself, but the wordplay is clever, and that's something I would like to encourage in you."

The two of them left to change into the shirts.

Once they were gone, Lynn grabbed her sister's head and pointed her eyes in the direction of the food stand. "You see that, Luce? That's where they sell the most sweet sodas of all time. Every time a game is going bad, I just head on over there, buy me some sweet orange drink, and then I'm making strikes like its nothing."

She then gave her sister some money. "I want you to make a memory tonight. The first time you bought and drank the nectar of Olympus."

She watched as Lucy went over to the young lady working at the stand. She decided to try and listen to what the two were saying.

"Hi," she heard the monotone voice of Lucy. "Can I have four orange sodas?"

"Sure thing," replied the young woman. The lady prepared and brought out four soft drinks. "Here you go, sweetie."

Lynn saw her sister hand the lady her money. "Thank you Ms…" Lynn saw her sister trying to read the woman's name tag. "Ms. Maya."

Lynn sighed. "Lucy," she yelled to her sister.

"What?"

"Ask her if they have salt shakers."

"What? I can't hear you."

Before Lynn could try again, she was cut off by a familiar voice.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Loser Loud."

Lynn turned and saw four girls. Three of them were standing behind the one who was obviously their leader. Their leader being none other than…

"Maya," Lynn growled. "Lucy, cancel the salt," she yelled back at her sister, before resuming a glaring contest between her and her hated nemesis.

The despised adversary on her basketball courts.

The loathed rival on her soccer team.

The detested Frenemy without the "fr-" on her football fields.

The repellent antagonist on her hockey…

"Lynn, I still can't hear you," cried out Lucy, still all the way over at the food stand.

* * *

 **Curse my inability to end a story without a semi-comedic line. My first two-parter though. I'm excited.**


	4. Of Goths and Gutters: Part 2

**A/N: Welcome to the newest chapter, dear readers. Where we last left off, the family athlete was face to face with her arch enemy, and now the game is on.**

 **Just one small note. The Maya character in this fic is not the same as the Maya on Lynn's basketball team. This Maya is based off a person I knew in real life (though her personality was very different).**

* * *

When Lucy walked back over to her sister, she saw her face to face with a squadron of four girls, one of whom was giving a most hate filled glare to Lynn. Lucy knew instinctively that this girl was Maya. She had never seen Maya before, though she heard a lot about her from Lynn, and was very curious.

The girl that stood before her older sister had dark black hair, tied in pigtails. She had a bit of a chip in her front teeth, reminding Lucy of Lincoln's similar teeth. Unlike Lynn, she had no freckles on her face. But there was something about her that was just like Lynn. Lucy couldn't put her finger on it…

"I'm going to wipe the floor with you, Lynn. Oh wait, I doubt you would even reach the floor."

"Well that shouldn't be a problem for you, Maya. I heard from my brother that you dwarves are great at inventing tools."

Lucy gasped. She just realized why they looked so similar.

They were the exact same height.

"What are you two talking about? You're both the same…" Lucy felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked and saw Polly shaking her head and mouthing _"Don't say it."_

Maya snapped her fingers. "It doesn't matter. After all, when I win today, I won't have to wipe the floors, will I? See you after the game, Madeleine."

Everyone looked at her confusedly.

Maya blushed from the glares. "Because her name is Lynn, and she's going to be dressed like a maid. So Maid Lynn becomes Madeleine."

No one said anything.

Maya sighed. "Let's go, girls."

After they left, Lynn turned to her team, with determination in her eyes.

"Everyone, the enemy has come forward and attempted to demoralize us. Her vicious slander about my height was nothing more than an effort to harm our initiative. Our victory is guaranteed, for good always triumphs over evil. I ask you; will you allow the hate and spite of this angry child to overcome your skills and abilities?"

Lucy, Margo and Polly looked at each, and Lynn's strong determination became infectious.

"NO!" they all responded loudly.

"Would you accept a future in which you are dressed like French maids, cleaning out the homes of those witches?"

"NO!"

"Then follow me to victory, comrades. We don't live to win. We…

"live…"

"to…"

"LYNN!"

"Y…Yeah," came a rather half-hearted response.

Lynn felt the hype drain from her body. "It… It sounded better in my head," the jock admitted sheepishly.

Margo sighed, disappointed. "I should've known the team name was a fluke."

* * *

Through some cruel twist of fate, the two teams would be bowling in the lanes next to each other. On one hand, this prevented either side from cheating. On the other hand, no one could play without receiving derisive comments from the other side.

"Dammit," said Polly as she accidentally rolled her ball into the gutter.

"Nice job. Maybe you could dig the ball out of the gutter with your large chin," called out Maya, followed by a chorus of mocking laughter from her team.

"I'm surprised you were even able to see my chin from all the way down there," responded Polly.

Lynn burst out laughing so hard that soda came out of her nose.

"What are you laughing about, Lynn? Have you checked the scoreboard?" responded an aggressive and embarrassed Maya.

Lynn looked over at her opponent's screen and saw that, to her horror, Maya's team was actually capable. More than capable, in fact. Their team had a collective of 231 points at the seventh frame. The sporty girl made sure to not look panicked.

"Well that's all fine and well, but just take a look at how much points we have."

The two looked at Lynn's team's scoreboard.

204 points.

"YES! 204!."

"You have a smaller amount of points. That's bad for you."

"No. Bowling works like golf; the smaller the number, the better."

Maya just rolled her eyes and left to complete her game.

Lynn turned to Margo. "Dang it. She's not that easy to fool."

Margo was stunned. "Did you really think that would work?"

Lynn ignored her and turned her attention back to the screen. She studied each row of numbers carefully. She and Margo were doing excellent (though Lynn had yet to achieve her turkey). Polly was also doing rather well for herself. Despite the occasional mishap, she often got eights and sevens. Which meant that the one bringing the average down was…

"Lucy? What the hell?"

Lucy looked up just as she gently rolled the heavy bowling ball down the aisle. It knocked down three pins.

"Lucy, you're scores are so much less than ours. What's wrong?"

"I had a talk with the bowling ball. He's such a sensitive soul despite his hard exterior. Sigh, and he hates being used to attack his friends."

No one knew how to respond. Lynn gave it her best shot, though.

"Listen, Lucy, I know you do these weird things every now and again, trying to humanize inanimate objects. But we have a game to win, otherwise we'll have to play maid for Maya and her familiars."

"I just wanted to get to know him better, if we're going to be touching all night."

Now Lynn was getting annoyed. " _Him?_ It's a ball."

"I'll try harder next round, okay?"

"Not good enough. Thanks to your jackassery, we're majorly behind. I thought you had an actual problem, but here I find you just screwing around."

"Hey, hey," interrupted Margo, trying to defend the young goth, "No need to talk to her like that."

Lynn turned angrily towards her. "Don't tell me how to talk to her."

"What? You think you can just talk to her anyway you want because she's your sister?"

"YES!" shouted Lynn, tired of dealing with back-talk. "I CAN TALK TO HER LIKE THAT BECAUSE SHE'S MY SISTER. MY CREEPY, USELESS EMO SISTER!"

The moment the words left her mouth, Lynn knew she had crossed a line.

The other girls gasped and Lucy appeared stunned.

Lynn had just said it.

The E-word.

Lucy liked to think there was a distinction between Goths and emos, and had reminded her family repeatedly of that. And here Lynn was using that word as a weapon, in public, against her younger sister.

"Lucy… I'm so sor…" The athlete started.

"Looks like you're all having a big fight," interrupted Maya as she walked over. "Let's be honest. None of you stand a chance of winning. So how about you just cut your losses right now?"

"Fine, just as long as I don't have to play with her anymore," said Lucy in the angriest tone she could muster.

Lynn gasped. "But… But…"

Then, deep down in the primordial recesses of her mind, Lynn came to a realization. She thought about everything that had happened recently, and knew what had to happen next.

"Maya, can I speak to you privately?"

The two girls went off to talk. What they were speaking about, none of Lynn's teammates cared, least of all Lucy. That was until Maya and Lynn returned, and the black-haired girl spoke:

"Alright, you three are off the hook. No need to show up to our houses."

Lucy, Polly and Margo looked shocked and confused.

"Lynn here is going to do all the chores by herself," said Maya. Then she leaned in close to Lynn's ear and whispered:

"And you better have a cute outfit while you clean, cause I want the best picture possible to send to Francisco."

Lynn cringed at the idea of her crush seeing her dressed like that, but nodded in defeat anyways.

Maya smirked and walked away to her celebrating teammates, leaving the sport Loud with her team.

"Why would you offer to do that?" asked Margo?

"Because… because I dragged you three out here to fight one of my personal battles, and on top of that I don't even let you enjoy yourselves. I'm... I'm sorry guys. At first, I thought I could balance my rivalry with Maya and my desire to have fun with my sister and friends. Guess I was wrong."

Before anyone could respond, Lynn's phone rang. She looked at the ID and sighed. "Come on, Luce. Dad's here."

* * *

The next day, Lynn showed up to Maya's house in a maid outfit she had borrowed from Lincoln (why he had something like that, she refused to ask). She had to endure Lori's laughter the entire ride to Maya's home, but she knew the real mocking was soon to come.

Just then, her hated rival walked out of the door. "Ah, Lynn. Good to see you. And you look _sooooooooooooooooo_ cute. When I send your boyfriend the picture, do you think I should use a filter or leave it _natural_?" She pronounced the last word with an attempt at a French accent.

Lynn stayed silent and gritted her teeth.

"But that's not the best part. The best part is that you're here, alone. No comrades, no compatriots. Just one person. Or I guess in your case, half a person."

"Make that three and a half!" said a familiar voice.

The two rivals turned to see Lucy, Margo and Polly standing there, all in the same maid outfit that Lynn was wearing.

"What are you three doing here? I told you guys you didn't have to do this for me," said Lynn to her three teammates.

Margo smiled at her. "True, but what if we were doing it for someone else?"

Lynn looked blankly at her, puzzled.

Margo chuckled. "Lucy practically begged us to show up in these clothes and help you out. Neither of us had anything going on, and she sounded so genuine that we decided it was OK to embarrass ourselves little."

Lynn looked at her sister, who turned away. The tomboy couldn't help but smile, and felt a little tugging at the heartstrings, half-happiness and half-guilt.

Maya saw this, and her smug smile quickly disappeared. "Yeah… well… she didn't even get a turkey last night. So ha!"

Polly shrugged. "She struck three people's emotions, so you can count that, in a way."

"Just… just get to work. Start with the porch," Maya growled at them as she went back inside.

Lynn looked at Lucy, Polly and Margo with a emotional look on her face. "Listen…"

Margo put her finger over her lips, indicating for her to shush. "We got too much work to be talking. All of us."

Lynn smiled, and understood what her friend was saying.

The four got to work cleaning the porch.

"By the way, where did you guys get your clothes?"

"I ordered mine online. Overnight shipping," responded Polly.

"I got mine from a nearby costume store," answered Margo.

Lynn nodded and looked at her sister. "Luce?"

Lucy blushed a bit. "I… I took the one Lincoln has. I don't have one of my own and I resent the implication."

* * *

The athlete and the goth returned home at sunset. They managed to get a decent amount of work done, though they still had three houses to clean for Maya's team.

Before they went inside, Lynn felt a burning need to confront her sister about what had happened today.

"Lucy, why did you help me? After what I said to you, I thought it would be days or weeks before we could go back to normal."

Lucy thought about it. She wanted to use the best words to convey her explanation.

"I did it because… I felt guilty about what happened yesterday. I was your first choice for a replacement, and you were trying your hardest to make me have fun. And how do I repay you? By talking to bowling balls?"

Lynn shook her head. "Lucy, don't you dare excuse what I did," she said somewhat aggressively. "I was in the wrong. I made you feel worse and stopped you from just having fun and doing what you wanted."

The two girls stood in silence.

Then Lynn brightened up. "How about this? Why don't we go down to the bowling alley again next week. Me, you, Margo and Polly. Just to have a good time. You can go talk to the pins if you want to."

Lucy gave a slight smile. "Well, I would like to have some more corn syrup water."

"What?"

"Soda."

"Oh. Great. Lisa's rubbing off on you."

Once they entered home, they noticed Luan and Lana holding pies in their hands. Mud pies for the tomboy and blueberry pies for the comedian. Though when they saw that it was Lynn and Lucy, they both sat back down on the sofa disappointedly.

"So you two lost, huh?" asked a dejected Lana. Lynn and Lucy nodded somberly.

"I guess we can say good _pie_ to the Crazy Day, huh?" said the jokester. "Haha. Get it? But seriously, I was looking forward to that. Me and Lana have been waiting around all day."

Lynn felt guilty about that, but then smiled at the both of them. "You know what, you don't have to say goodbye to your fun time."

"What do you mean?" asked Lana.

Lynn spread out her arms. "Well, my costume is already dirty. Might as well."

The pie-wielding blonde and brunette immediately got excited and prepared their throwing arms.

"Wait, wait, wait… What about Lucy?" asked Luan.

Lynn looked at her black-haired sister. "Listen Lucy. I'm fine with the fact that you showed up to help me earlier, but you don't have to do this now. Just go upstairs. Consider it my atonement."

Lucy thought about it for a moment. Then she spread out her arms like her jock sister.

Lynn couldn't help it. "Oh, LUCY!" she squealed as she gave her sister the strongest embrace she could manage, as a volley of pies flew towards the both of them.

* * *

 **One of the best parts about writing this story is putting someone else in the limelight. As much as I love Lincoln, I thought it would be nice to see the sisters interacting one-on-one with each other.** **I'm planning on having Lynn pair up with each sibling once before I repeat (with the exception of Lucy. As Lynn's roommate, she gets special privileges).**

 **So here's a question: Which sister would you like to see Lynn pair up with in the next chapter? I was going to create a poll, but I'm too incompetent :P**

 **Also,** **I'm planning on releasing some other LH stories in the near future, but I still expect to release a new chapter of this story at least once a week or so.**

 **Finally, thanks for the support (1200+ views and counting).**


	5. L for Lynndetta

**A/N: Last time, I asked you guys who you wanted to see paired up with Lynn. I got answers for Lori, Luna and Luan. So I got to work over the past couple of days and wrote chapters for all three of them, to be released in order of age. Lori goes first, as suggested by Hatoralo.**

* * *

"Something is rotten in the state of Michigan.

"Once a democratic and benevolent society, now upturned by the absence of the old rulers. Now our lives fall under the totalitarian rule of a tyrant.

"The Queen of No.

"She imposes harsh restrictions on our freedom. She brings with her an inability for us to live our lives as we desire. This is no way for human beings to be. Someone needs to stand up for the little guy, to defend those who cannot defend themselves. And I, Lynn Loud Jr., daughter of the old king, shall sacrifice myself to tear down the false throne of Lori."

The athletic Loud girl stood proudly, fist raised in the air, one leg on the ground and the other on Lisa's bed.

Lisa looked rather impressed. "I have to say, my older kinsperson, this is a rather selfless thing for you to do. To sacrifice your safety to liberate the rest of us… it honestly inspires me."

Lynn took a bow. "Thank you. But you can help the cause too."

"How?"

"In my journey for liberty, I will need the necessary equipment. So can give me some of your sci-fi toys so I can protect myself from Lori?"

Lisa considered it. "Normally, I would answer negatively, especially seeing how you referred to them as 'sci-fi toys', but seeing how you are so self-sacrificing..."

"LYNN!" interrupted Lori's yell from downstairs.

"I hope you're ready for your punishment after what you did earlier today. I'm not going to even turn you into a human pretzel. I'll literally make you a human sub sandwich."

Lisa's eyes narrowed. "'What you did earlier today?'"

Lynn giggled nervously. "Yeah, heh. It's a funny story, for another time. But for now, can I just…"

She made a wild grab for Lisa's desk of inventions, but Lisa had one of her robots restrain her.

"I see what's happening here. You did something to Lori earlier today, not realizing that our parental units would be leaving us under the care of our eldest sister for the weekend. And now, you're coming to me for an invention to protect yourself from Lori's vengeance, attempting to disguise your self-interest as a fight for all of us. Does this sound familiar?"

There was a short beat.

"Look, I'm not asking for something to kill her. I just want to defend myself. Give me a blinding ray or something."

Lisa sighed. "Robot, throw her out."

"WAIT!"

"What?" asked the young scientist, annoyed.

"Can you at least throw me out the window? I think I hear Lori coming up the stairs."

Lisa nodded, and the android threw the jock out the window just as Lori burst into the room.

As Lynn got up off the ground and dusted herself off, she saw Lori pop her head through the window.

"Ha! Try and catch me now, Nori."

"Oh don't worry, I will catch you. And when I do, well…"

Lori put on a sick grin as she stuck her hand out the window. When Lynn saw what was in her hand, she gasped in horror.

It was a baguette. One of the easiest-to-weaponize pieces of bread in human history.

Whatever doubts Lynn had about her situation disappeared. Her resolve was strengthened and she knew that she had only one mission:

 _Avoid Lori until the 'rents get home._

* * *

Crawling through the vents isn't as easy as it looks like in the movies. The space is tight and cramped, you are subject to various ever-shifting temperatures, and it's almost impossible not to make any noise.

But Lynn had little choice in the matter. So she stuck socks in her knees to muffle the sounds, asked Luna to keep the temperature at normal (the rocker was a bit of a rebel herself, and unfortunately believed Lynn's lies about her motives) and crawled around, trying to reach Lori and Leni's room, hoping to find some kind of leverage to use against her sister. Her phone, maybe. Perhaps an embarrassing photo she could threaten to upload to the Internet.

"Twerp, have you seen Lynn?"

Lynn peeked down through an opening and saw Lori standing over Lincoln and Lucy, her carbs-packed weapon still in hand.

"N-No, Lori. I haven't seen her," responded her nervous brother. He had never been on the wrong side of the bread, but he had heard stories.

Lori seemed satisfied with his answer and turned towards Lucy.

"What about you? I literally doubt you haven't seen your roommate."

Now Lynn became nervous. While Lincoln truly knew nothing, Lucy was the one who told her to hide in the vents. If Lori could get her to spill it, she would be at her mercy.

Lucy shook her head. "I haven't seen her. I've been working on my poetry for a while, so I haven't been paying attention. Would you like to hear it?"

"No, no. I need to keep looking for Lynn. I need to make her pay for what she did."

"What did she do?" asked Lucy.

"Oh, she was supposed to go pick up some honey at a bee farm. The bee farm is run by a sister of the Church; Nun Ya. Know what the name of the bee farm is?"

The Goth sighed. "Nun Ya Beeswax?"

"Exactly right. None of your beeswax. Just… just go to your rooms."

Lynn sighed of relief as the two of them left to their rooms. That was until…

"Hold on, Lucy."

The athlete tensed up again.

"You said you were writing poetry?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm… don't you usually write poetry in either the attic or the vents?"

Lynn would have tensed up more, but there wasn't enough room for that.

"And since I locked the attic to make sure no one goes in there, that means you should be in the vents. Why aren't you?"

"Umm… because I'm inspired by the mediocrity of everyday life?" Lucy tried.

Lori looked up into the vents and saw Lynn staring down at her.

She quickly stabbed the opening with the baguette. Lynn screamed as she quickly dodged it and crawled off as fast as she could.

But Lori wasn't done yet. She instantly dashed over to the thermostat.

"Luna, step away from the thermostat."

The rocket stood her ground. "No way, sis."

Lori brandished the baguette threateningly.

"No way I won't do that, sis," said a very nervous Luna as she gave her older sister access to the temperature system.

Lori turned up the heat as much as possible.

"Hey, Lynn, you know how you always eat your grinders spicy? Looks like I'm going to have myself a grilled Lynn sub."

Inside the vents, Lynn did her best to combat the raging inferno. But it was a little too much for her. She found the nearest exit she could and dropped out, right in front of Lori.

The blonde girl smiled. "Looks like our game of cat and mouse ends. Now I'm literally going to kill you."

Lori noticed all her other siblings staring.

"I mean, not literally-literally. I'm not literally going to kill her."

She lifted her arm into the arm, ready to beat her sister with the bread, but then she noticed that something was missing.

The bread.

She turned and saw Luna eating it. "Hah. Now oo habe noten to thhreaen us wid."

"What? I can't understand you,"

Luna swallowed. "Now you have nothing to threaten us with."

Lori thought about that for a moment, before turning towards Lynn with an unnerving smile.

"Lynn, change out of those sweaty clothes. We're going for a drive."

She then turned to the rest all her younger siblings. "Me and Sporty are going to be gone for a while. While I'm gone, Leni is in charge."

Everyone cheered.

"I want you to really think about what I just said. I'm leaving _Leni_ in charge."

Everyone thought about it. No one cheered a second time (except for Leni).

* * *

The two girls sat in the back of the taxi. Neither of them said anything to each other, other than Lori occasionally ordering Lynn to stop doing something.

"Lynn, stop trying to get me to step on ketchup packets."

"Lynn, stop drawing on my face when I close my eyes."

"Lynn, stop flipping off police officers and pedestrians."

Eventually the taxi pulled up to a restaurant. The two sisters exited and Lori gave the driver his fare (as well as a five-dollar tip for Lynn's behavior).

"Well, here we are," proclaimed Lori. "Oregano Garden."

"So we left our home and family just to have dinner here?" Lynn asked confusedly.

Lori smiled. "Let's just go in."

The two sat at a table. A waiter came over to take their order.

"Excuse me. Can you explain your policy on… breadsticks?"

Alarm sirens immediately went off in Lynn's head when she heard her sister ask that question.

"You get free bread sticks with your order, ma'am."

Lori stared Lynn dead in the eye. "Good to know."

Lynn felt the strong need to break eye contact. "Excuse me, waiter. Could we just have a few more minutes to decide what we want?"

As soon as the waiter left, Lynn whispered in her sister's ear:

"Why did you bring me to this torture camp? To torment me with your infinite supply of bread sticks?"

Lori nodded. "Of course, you could just apologize and make this all go away."

"Me? Apologize to you? For what? A simple joke?"

Lori seemed to get angry with this. "A simple joke? You, Lincoln and Clyde were playing Frisbee inside the house, when you got the bright idea to throw it into my room. When Clyde went to go get it, you locked him in my closet for a couple seconds, for a quick laugh. All of my clothes were ruined."

Lynn knew where Lori was coming from, but couldn't help but chuckle at the memory.

"You think that's funny?" Lori said through gritted teeth.

"As a matter of fact, yeah I do," replied her younger sister. "Not that you would know anything about fun."

"Excuse me? I know a lot about having fun."

"You mean like that party you threw for your friends?"

Lori cringed at the memory.

"Face it, Lori. You're no fun. That's why we call you the Queen of No and Nori."

Lori sighed. She felt this was a long time coming. "Lynn," she started in a gentle tone, "Believe me, I know what having fun is. But there are some other things I know about too: responsibility, order, limits. And if I didn't impose those on you, what do you think would happen?"

Lynn shrugged.

"The house would literally fall into chaos. Trust me, you should be glad you guys are younger and less responsible."

"Please. You being the oldest must be the best. You get to tell us what do to, you get to invite whoever you want over, you can drive, Mom and Dad trust you with everything…"

"Yes, but if something goes wrong, Mom and Dad blame me, because I'm the oldest and I'm supposed to look out for you all."

Lori paused, and resumed with a soft and somewhat sad smile.

"I'm supposed to keep you all in order. But you're all so hard to organize, with your silly, crazy, fun personalities. I want to let you guys do what you want, and most of the time I want to join in, but the harsh truth is, a lot of the time, I have to say 'No.' For everyone's sake."

Now Lynn was feeling a bit of remorse. She had always assumed that her sister was just on a crazed power-trip, when in reality she was just being responsible, trying to keep reckless younger siblings, like her, in check.

"Lori," she stated in an apologetic tone, "I'm…I'm sorry. For ruining your clothes and… for being a handful. I'll order some garlic sticks for you to beat me with."

Lori laughed at that. "I really traumatized with that bread loaf, didn't I?"

Soon, she began laughing a bit more hysterically, and eventually Lynn joined in. After a little while, Lori stopped and wiped her eye.

"Forget it. The only thing we'll be using the bread sticks for is eating. Let's just enjoy a nice meal. My treat."

Lynn smiled and looked at the menu. "How about… this?" she pointed at what she wanted.

"Lynn, I said my treat, so please don't take advantage and point at the literal most expensive thing on the menu. Remember, I still have to buy new clothes."

The two girls ate a moderately priced meal in peace.

* * *

On Monday, Lynn ran up to Lori and gave her a twenty dollar bill.

"What? Why? How?" asked Lori, puzzled.

"Hold on, I'll explain. You know Maya?"

"The one on the basketball team?"

"No, my rival. Well, that's kinda what this is about. I decided to help you buy new clothes, so me and Maya played a game of soccer. First to goal wins. Loser has to give the winner twenty dollars and get a name change."

Lori looked baffled at her sibling. "You got a girl to legally change her name just because you won a soccer game?"

"Look, what happened between me and Tanya isn't important. What matters is that you now have twenty dollars. You can buy… something with that," Lynn said, beaming with pride.

Lori smiled. "Thank you, Lynn."

"No problem. Just being responsible. After all, I learned how to from the best."

"Well then, if you're so responsible, you wouldn't mind changing Lily's diaper, would you?"

"I wouldn… Wait, what?"

"Alright. I'm going to the mall. Thanks a lot, Lynn." And with that Lori rushed out of the house.

Lynn looked at Lisa and Lily's room, and she could practically see a colored stink cloud emanating from it.

"Dang it."

* * *

 **Yeah, I decided to just change Lynn's rival's name to Tanya. I'm going to be using her in future chapters and I don't want there to be any confusion. Plus, I thought her getting a legal name change over a game would make a funny joke, and show the absurd level of competition between the two.**

 **Like I said before, I got a chapter for each sister that was recommended. So next chapter is about everyone's favorite rockstar.**


	6. Fine Jamming

**A/N: Rejoice everyone. Today we chronicle the team-up of Lynn and fan-favorite Luna Loud, as suggested by lttlgreg. Out of all the stories I wrote this week, this one was the hardest to come up with an idea for, because a story about these two should be as wild and over-the-top as they are. But eventually I landed on something I liked. I may have gotten a little carried away, but I hope you'll enjoy it regardless.**

* * *

On a rough road in the middle of the snowy mountains, a van was stopped exactly in the middle of the street. A large man was checking around in the hood of the vehicle. After a while, he closed the hood and stuck his head inside the driver's window.

"Bad news, loves. The car's broken down," said Chunk to the two girls in his vehicle, who were none other than sisters Luna and Lynn Loud.

"Dang it," said Luna, shivering slightly. "Now we're stuck up here in the snows, waiting to freeze."

"This is why I didn't even want to come," grumbled Lynn.

"Ladies, ladies, no need to get miffed," said Chunk. "We may not have any reception on the tellies, but I did see a motel back there. We can stay there for the night, and maybe the blokes have a working phone."

The two sisters nodded their heads and got out of the car.

"Alright dudes, let's get moving. And remember: Don't eat the yellow snow."

Lynn rolled her eyes. "Sure, blame me for that. I can't help it if I go when I'm scared."

Luna looked incredulously at her. "I… I was referencing a Zappa song…"

"Oh." Lynn blushed and looked at the ground. "Let's just… Let's just get a move on."

The party moved out. They all walked in silence, not wanting to alert any wild animals to their presence, leaving Lynn to wonder about how it all led up to this…

* * *

Lynn and her younger sister Lucy were sitting in their room, each one with certain reading material in their hands. The athletic girl was reading an issue of Sports Animated, while the macabre girl was reading the classic horror novel Frankenstein. At least, that's what the dust jacket said. Lynn could have sworn that every time the jacket slipped off a bit, she could see a drawing of a colorful pony.

"Hey, Luce."

"Yes?"

"Can I see that book you're reading?"

Lucy shot up, looking panicked. "Uh… uh… uh…"

Before she could continue articulating her points about why Lynn could _not_ look at the book she was reading, the door to their room burst wide open, and in entered their older sister Luna.

She looked at Lynn. "Dude, I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, now's not a good time. I was going to take a peek at Lucy's book…"

"THERE'S NO TIME!"

She quickly grabbed Lynn's arm and despite the younger girl's protests, dragged her out towards her room, leaving Lucy alone.

"Sigh. That was a close one."

Lucy went over to the door and locked it. She then threw off the old book jacket and continued reading her saccharine pony stories with a goofy smile on her face.

Meanwhile, down the hall, Luna refused to let go of her younger sibling until they had reached her room.

"You know, you could have just asked me to come with you," said the tomboy.

"I know, but this is something really important," responding the rocker.

"Let me guess. You're going to lecture me about how mean I'm being to Lincoln, and how I'm the worst for thinking he was bad luck, and say some other things to prove that you're the nicest sister ever and that I'm pure evil."

Luna gave her sister a blank look. "No… why would I do that?"

Lynn shrugged. "I got a weird sense of déjà vu."

Luna shook her head. "Lynn, focus. I brought you here because I need to ask you something."

"What is it?"

Luna took a breath. "I was going to go jamming with my band up in the mountains tomorrow, when the break starts, but after we attended a recent metal concert, they all got sick."

"All of them? How?"

Luna chuckled. "You should've seen how much vomit there was, little dudette. It was like fireworks.

"Anyways, we booked the cabin, and they won't let us refund. So I'm trying to find someone to go to the cabin with. I would have asked one your older sisses, but I haven't seen em."

Lynn thought about that. "You know, I haven't seen them around the house recently eith…"

"So, Lynn, you want to come with me?"

Lynn was taken aback by her sister's offer. "You want to go… with me?"

Luna ruffled her hair. "Of course. Why wouldn't I want to spend some quality time with my little sis?"

"And Mom and Dad said yes?"

"When I asked Popstar if I could take you, he said 'Sure. Two less mouths to feed is better than one less,'" she said in a bad impression of a middle aged man.

Lynn thought it over. She had no reason to go, nor did she really want to. But then she realized that she and Luna didn't really spend that much time together. Now, a golden opportunity had presented itself, and she wasn't going to let it go.

"Sure, why not?" Lynn finally answered. Luna beamed when she heard this.

"After all, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

* * *

"This is our lives on school break…" muttered Luna to herself as she dragged herself through the snow.

Lynn felt her sister needed a little encouragement, so she decided to try to help her get through this trek.

"Hey, look on the bright side. At least Chunk had these warm thermoses of soup. And it's my favorite flavor. Which is… a little weird," Lynn said. "Actually, Chunk, why did you have these? Were you just bowling for soup?"

Luna rolled her eyes, but on the inside she was chuckling.

"Oh no," responded the roadie.

"Woah. Chunk, don't think I'm ungrateful…"

"Not you. That," he said as he pointed at something in the distance.

The two girls looked and saw, to their horror, what he was pointing at.

There was a large brown bear, digging around in the ground. The group figured from its behavior that it was looking for food.

The worst thing that could happen did: A group of unarmed tired people in the snow were in close proximity of a hungry beast.

"Alright, here's what we need to do," whispered Chunk to the sisters. "The animal asn't noticed us yet, else we'd be mincemeat. We need to back up, slowly and quietly."

The two girls nodded, and all three of them started backing up…

Until someone dropped their soup.

"LYNN!" Luna hissed at her sister.

The bear smelled the soup as a gust of cold wind flew in its direction. The aroma attracted its attention, so it looked over, expecting a meal, and saw three human beings.

Its expectations were satisfied.

Immediately, the monster let out a ferocious roar and started to charge at them.

It's been said that in case of a bear attack, the best case of action is to play dead. All three of them knew that. But if a giant mass of hair, muscle and teeth starts running towards you, with intent to kill and devour, you might not be surprised if lying down on the ground isn't your first instinct.

"RUN!" shouted all three of them at each other.

The three sprinted away from the beast, doing their best to stick together. But the bear, for as large as it was, was surprisingly fast. Eventually, Chunk turned to Lynn as the two were still running.

"Lynn," he shouted at her, "Get to the motel. Get help there. It's in that direction," he pointed in to his left.

"I can't just leave you two," she shouted back.

"Yes, you can. We'll keep it distracted."

"But..."

"GO!"

The young athlete obeyed, and ran off in the direction Chunk indicated.

The roadie had made a good choice, as Lynn was the best runner amongst them. Luck was also on their side as the motel was not too far, only three minutes of running on behalf of the young girl.

Still, anything could have happened in three minutes.

 _Please please let them be OK._ The girl pleaded in her head, because she was panting too hard to speak.

 _Please let there be someone who can help us…_

The motel quickly came into sight, causing the runner to accelerate, trying to reach it as fast as possible. When she got there, Lynn didn't even bother slowing down. Instead, she burst down the door of the motel, though she hardly noticed the pain through the adrenaline.

"Someone, anyone, please help…"

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LYNN!"

"AHHHH, DON'T KILL ME… wait, what?"

The young jock looked around and saw a crowd of familiar faces. All of her family members were there, as were some of her friends. The entire motel was covered in streamers and confetti. There was a table with cakes and meatball grinders, and the party overall had an overall hockey theme, as evidenced by the helmets everyone wore.

"You heard us. Happy birthday, Junior," said a smiling Lynn Sr.

Lynn Jr. was stunned. In all the chaos with Luna and the van and the bear, she had forgotten…

"LUNA!"

The young jock just remembered that her sister and her roadie were out there.

"Everyone, Luna and Chunk are out there, being chased by a grizzly. We need to help them."

Everyone gasped, except for Lisa.

"I'll take care of this," she said calmly, as she loaded a tranquilizer dart into a small gun and left into the snow. A couple of minutes later, she came back with a shook Luna and Chunk. Rita made sure to confiscate Lisa's tranquilizer gun.

"That was… not… part of the plan…" said the rocker.

"Luna," cried out Lynn as she ran over and inspected her sister, "Are you alright? Did it scratch you? Did it mark you with its yellow snow?"

"Gross," said Lola.

"Cool," said Lana.

Luna looked at her younger sister, looking over her body and checking for injuries. It warmed her heart to see her sibling so concerned, so she did her best to recover from her fright.

"Yeah. I'm fine. But enough about me. This day is about you, sis. It's why we went through this plan."

"Plan?"

"Actually, it was an operation," said Lincoln as he stepped forward, looking as proud as could be. "My genius brainchild: Operation Rent-A-Motel-And-Step-Up-Lynn's-Birthday-Party-Then-Fool-Her-Into-Coming-Up-Here-On-False-Premises-And-Faking-A-Car-Breaking-Down-To-Get-In-This-Motel-And-Think-Of-A-Shorter-Name-For-This-Operation."

"But why? Why not just celebrate at home?"

"Well, Luan still had the motel, we needed to make sure Leni wouldn't spoil it, and the seeing how cold it is up here, the mountains are a great place to play hockey."

The young sportsgirl was stunned. The amount of thought and effort that everyone had put into planning this party genuinely touched her. She looked over to Chunk and Luna, who just shrugged and smiled at her.

"I… I don't know what to say," said an emotional Lynn.

Luna grabbed a small cake with candles on it. "How about a birthday wish?"

* * *

Aside from the encounter with the ravenous bear, the party went off without a hitch. Everyone had their tongues torched by a spicy sandwich eating contest, and the hockey theme spilled over into a small hockey game, which may have been more enjoyable were it not for Lynn's constant gloating every time she scored.

At the end of the party, most of the guests retired to their rooms, planning on leaving the next morning. The Louds were mostly crowded into two rooms; older sisters and Lincoln in one, younger sisters and the parents in the other.

Perhaps it was the sugar she had consumed, but Lynn awoke in the middle of the night. As she tried to go back to a pleasant dream about Francisco, she couldn't help but notice that one of the people in her room was missing.

She opened and the door and went outside. It was cold, but not too strong to handle. That was when she noticed Luna sitting on the steps. The rocker girl turned, saw her younger sister staring, and smiled at her. She then beckoned for her to join her on the steps.

"Luna, it's really late. What are doing out here?"

"Couldn't sleep. I ate too much. Plus I'd be lying if I wasn't at least a little spooked by that bear encounter."

"Oh."

"So, how were the festivities?"

Lynn smiled. "They were great, Luna. Thank you so much. I still feel a little bad you and Chunk had to go through all that for my sake, though."

"Don't worry about it. Chunk likes to see people happy, especially when they're siblings of his friends. Plus, it's not like you put that bear there."

The two girls fell silent. Off in the distance, they heard a wolf howling at the moon.

"Listen to that wolf sing" said Luna in a sort of daze. Then she sharpened up. "Wait right here," she ordered her sister as she quietly sprinted back to her room. When she came back out, she had a classic guitar in her hands.

"Luna, what's that?"

Luna smiled. "A birthday present from me. It's a short song I've been working on for a while now. Wanna hear it?"

Lynn laughed a bit. "Do you expect me to say no?"

Luna laughed a bit too. Then she started her song:

 _L is for Lively,_

 _she makes sports out anything_

 _Y is for Youth,_

 _She lives it in a way that makes it exciting_

 _N is for Noisy,_

 _Just one of her fun aspects_

 _N is for Necessary,_

 _To make our lives perfect._

 _She's my sister Lynn_

 _I can't even begin_

 _To describe the way she changed my life_

 _She's my sister Lynn_

 _She's a great sister_

 _and a great daughter_

 _To our siblings, our dad and his wife._

 _Always roughhousing with Lincoln_

 _And always playing with the twins._

 _Always playing tricks on Lori_

 _And always taking care of Lily._

 _Always exercising with Leni_

 _And always there, inspiring me._

 _So in conclusion_

 _What I want to say_

 _Is thank you for being there, every day_

 _It's a loud Loud house, thirteen voices are great_

 _So let me show it on your birthday._

She put the guitar on the ground and sat back down on the stairs.

"So...uh … how did you like it?"

Lynn couldn't say anything, so she just gave her sister a hug, and hoped that Luna would get the message from there.


	7. Foolynn Around

**A/N: The last of the sisters that were requested was the clown of the clan; Luan Loud, suggested by JamesSunderlandsPillow. Originally, the plan was a prank war, but I realized that it had been done before. Then I found something better…**

* * *

"And another point for the Lynn machine!" shouted Lynn as sunk another a hoop.

It was a sunny day outside, the first in a while, so Lynn and Lana were playing basketball with a hoop that Lynn Sr. had installed on the garage.

"No fair. I can't play against you. You're so much taller than me," grumbled Lana.

"Glad someone finally said that…" muttered Lynn to herself.

"What!?"

"Nothing. Look, Lans, think of it as…uh... character building."

Lana thought about it. "I see. You're saying that this game will teach me to overcome obstacles, right?"

"Uh... yeah, sure. Go with that."

Just as the game was set to continue, the two tomboys noticed two figures approaching their house, both of whom were splattered with frosting, and one of whom was holding his hand like it was injured.

The two were none other than Luan and Lincoln.

"Lincoln, what happened to your hand?" said Lynn as she and Lana rushed over to them.

"It's alright, it's alright. No need to worry," the white-haired boy tried to reassure her.

"Yes, Lincoln," said Luan sternly. "There is a reason to worry. Your hand was injured and it's my fault. Don't pass it off as nothing."

"What happened to you two? And Lana, stop licking the cake off them."

Lana sighed like a puppy and backed off.

Luan sat down on the porch and gave a big, disappointed sigh. "Well, me and Lincoln were entertaining at a birthday party for some seven year olds, when all of a sudden, they all get really agitated and started throwing their food and now our clothes are _caked_ with frosting."

The other three groan.

"Well that's what you should expect when you try to _cake_ it in the birthday entertainment scene."

More groans.

Luan opened her mouth to make another world-class pun, but Lincoln cut her off.

"So we decided to make a break for it as the parents tried to calm down their kids, and I slipped on some frosting and fell hard on my hand," he shook his hand a bit. "It should be fine, though."

Lynn didn't believe him. "Lincoln, high five me, right now."

Lincoln's skin paled at the prospect of high-fiving.

Luan got up and grabbed Lincoln's shoulders. "Linc, I know what you're trying to do. You think that you have to look strong so I don't feel bad. It's okay. Just get some rest."

Lincoln wanted to argue, but couldn't. "Alright," he simply said, somewhat defeatedly.

"Thanks Lincoln. You're a real _hand_ -up guy."

Groan.

As soon as she heard this, Lynn perked up. "So, you don't have an assistant…"

Luan narrowed her eyes. "No, I don't. Lynn I know what you're going to ask, so the answer is…"

"I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER!" shouted Lynn, throwing her fists in the air, victorious. "I will be the best assistant around, trust me."

"Wait, Lynn, listen to me," responded the comedian girl, getting her sister to quiet down. "I don't want to hire you, not just because of what you did last time you were my assistant…"

"Please. You do so much worse on April Fools."

"But also," Luan continued, ignoring her statement, "because this isn't a first-time thing."

"What do you mean?"

Luan sighed again. "It's just that… for the last couple of parties I've been to, they've all ended this way. Everything is normal, the kids are laughing, I'm telling funny jokes…"

"So it can't be that normal," whispered Lana to Lincoln. He smirked and gave her a thumbs-up with his good hand.

"…when all of a sudden, they get up in arms and start screaming and throwing food and booing."

Lynn looked to her brother for confirmation. He nodded.

"So I think I'm going to quit the business for a while, if not forever."

Lynn immediately turned to Lana. "Lana, mud, my face, now."

"Yes ma'am!" said Lana excitedly.

The young blonde girl launched as much mud as she could at her older sister. Lynn closed her eyes, took a breath and started dodging.

She dodged each and every mud pie with ninja-like reflexes, almost like it was bullet time. So by the time, Lana had run out, the athlete had not one drop of dirt on her.

Lincoln clapped, then stopped when it hurt.

Luan looked impressed. "Lynn…"

"Don't worry, Luan. I can take anything those little monsters throw our way. You shouldn't have to give up what you love doing, and I'm not going to let you. You entertain people, and I get some great birthday cake. It's a _Lynn_ genius solution to your problem."

Lincoln and Lana groaned, and Luan joined.

Lynn looked offended.

"Oh, but when you do it…"

* * *

The two brunettes found themselves an offer for a job in two days. They were headed over there, Lynn carrying all of Luan's props.

"And remember, Lynn, this time, throw it at my hands, not my center."

"Yeah, yeah I know."

Luan knocked on the door, and out emerged a black-haired woman in her mid-30s.

"Oh hello. You must be the birthday clowns."

"Clown. Singular" Luan corrected.

"Well, come in. The party is in the back. My little Sarah has been waiting."

The two entered, and Luan turned to Lynn. "Lynn, I'm going to be preparing for a bit. Go outside and make sure everything is in order."

"Ok, sure."

Lynn went into the backyard, where all the kids were. They seemed to be having a good time, talking, laughing and running in circles. Of course, there was nothing sports-related, so Lynn was instantly disinterested. That is, until she felt a dark presence…

"Hello, Lynn."

Lynn turned to the source of the voice and saw…

"Oh, how cute. They got the birthday girl a life-sized Hobbit replica. Oh wait, it's just you, Tanya."

The two enemies stared at each other. The last time they had seen each other, Tanya was forced to get a legal name change, something she was very unhappy with.

"So, what are you doing here? You're not a little kid, though you do look like one."

Tanya started smiling evilly. "It's my sister's party you're attending."

Lynn looked confused. "Sister? I thought you only had brothers."

"What?"

"Yeah, you know, Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey…"

"ENOUGH WITH THE SHORT JOKES!" shouted Tanya.

She then quickly regained her composure and started with her menacing laughter. "Oh, this plan worked out better than I could have ever imagined."

"What plan?"

"My plan to drive your sister out of the birthday business. You see, I've been using babysitting my sister Sarah as an excuse to attend all birthday parties your sister Luan has been entertaining at. Then, I'll trick the stupid kids into thinking that Luan was insulting them. They go crazy and parents won't hire her ever again."

"W…Why?"

"Because I have malicious feelings towards you and I like taking it out on your family," Tanya admitted in an impressive display of self-awareness.

"But also because it's part of my master scheme. A conspiracy to ruin all of your sister's money-making habits. Once Luan is out of the birthday business, I'll move on to you other siblings. I'll stop Luna from getting music gigs, get Lola banned from pageants, prevent Lisa from ever getting paid to give a speech or lecture. And once that happens, your family will be driven into financial difficulty, which means you won't be able to afford sporting equipment, which means you'll quit sports forever, AND I'LL BE THE BEST OF ALL TIME, UNRIVALED. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

It's not hard for a person of average intellect to see that Tanya wasn't very smart, and that her grand plan was without a doubt one of the most half-baked, idiotic plans ever envisioned.

"That… that plan… is so evilly GENIUS," responded Lynn.

Unfortunately, it appears Lynn not only shared her enemy's height, but also her intelligence.

Tanya took a little bow. "Thank you, o hated adversary."

Then Lynn took a step forward, almost threateningly. "But if you think I'm going to sit back and let you ruin Luan's gigs, you got another thing coming. She works hard and loves hearing the kids she's entertaining laugh and have fun. And I'm not going to let you take that away from her. So thanks for telling me your plan, so I can stop it."

Tanya just gave an evil grin and shook her head. "Oh, Lynn, do you really think I don't have backup plans? I was getting bored of tricking dumb kids anyways."

As Lynn turned to leave, Tanya stopped her.

"You know, I feel a little bad about hurting your siblings, but what can I say? Big fish eat little fish," She then gave a nasty smirk. "Or, so you can understand, little fish eat tinier fish."

* * *

"Luan, I highly recommend you don't do this party. Just cancel and do some other party for some other kid."

It was about five minutes to show-time, and the two sisters were arguing about behind the scenes.

"You're just saying that because the girl is your enemy's sister."

"No, I'm saying that because Tanya is sabotaging you. I'm sure you've see her at the other parties you had problems with."

Luan shrugged. "Maybe. I don't even know what she looks like. And even if it's true, these people payed me. I'm not going to allow myself to be drummed out of the _party_. Ha-ha. Get it?"

Lynn realized it was no use arguing. Her sister was determined to give these kids a show. In a way, that was almost noble.

Then Lynn realized something. Why was she running? Tanya was the one who had to run. She knew what she had to do; protect Luan from Tanya's sabotage, at all costs.

"All right, Luan. You win," she then smiled at her sister. "And good luck out there."

The jokester responded with a similar smile. "Are you saying that because we get more cake if I do well?"

Lynn smirked. "You know me too well."

Luan turned and went out onto the stage. "Hello, boys and pearls. Whoops. Did I say pearls? Cause I got some right here."

Luan pulled out a handful of white marbles and pretended to drop them, then preceded to pretend to slip on them.

"Whoopsie," said Luan as the kids laughed and clapped. She smiled when she saw the kids enjoying themselves. It was nice to be appreciated, and to bring joy to others.

Lynn smiled, but then immediately went back to a serious face. She needed to discover Tanya's plan, and quick.

She looked around for anything the witch could have used to mess up Luan's act. So far, nothing…

Then Luan decided to do her juggling act. She got on her unicycle and looked to Lynn.

"My assistant will now be throwing me regular household items for me to juggle. Everyone welcome a very _Lynn_ spirational guest… My sister Lynn."

The kids all cheered, but there was one very audible booing in the background.

Lynn came out on stage, waving with one hand and holding some small tomatoes with the other. She started throwing the red fruits into her sister's hands. One by one, her sister juggled them. The kids kept cheering.

"Ok kids, how about she gets more tomatoes?"

"YAAY!" screamed the kids.

Lynn went back to get the watermelon, the joke being that the watermelon was noticeably _not_ a small tomato. When she turned back, she saw something horrific.

A rope was tied to the unicycle, and it lead up to the rafters above Luan's head. And at the top, a bucket, no doubt filled with something unpleasant. If the unicycle moved too much, the bucket would spill on her sister's head. But Luan hadn't moved too much…

Then Lynn remembered that Luan's finale involved a circle around the stage. The bucket of nasty would no doubt spill on her. And she would be humiliated.

Without thinking, she did the same thing as last time; threw the watermelon at her sister's body.

Luan was launched to the other side of the stage by the large fruit, and the bucket was pulled to the ground, thankfully not on her sister. In addition to that, the kids and some parents must have thought that was the intended joke, because they started laughing as well. The only one not laughing was Tanya.

Well, her and Luan.

Luan gave Lynn a look of anger, hurt and betrayal. It appears that she had not noticed the bucket fall (though being hit by a watermelon doesn't give you a good vantage point for these things). So in her mind, not only had Lynn messed up, but she had messed up for the same reason as last time.

After this, Luan rushed through the whole show, just to get it done. She made sure that nothing she did involved asking Lynn for assistance. At the end, the children cheered anyways.

"That was the best birthday show ever, Tanya," said Sarah to her sister.

"It would've been better, if it weren't for me explaining my plan like a Bond villain," grumbled Tanya.

* * *

"Luan, wait!"

Lynn chased after her sister, who was walking away in a rage.

"Luan, let me explain myself…"

"Explain what?" snapped back Luan. "You made the exact same mistake as last time. You totally ruined my juggling, and now I'm completely _melon_ choly."

"Not too melancholy to make puns though," Lynn responded.

Then she shook her head and tried to explain herself. "Luan, listen to me. I was just looking out for you. Tanya had tied a roped to your unicycle, and on the other end was a bucket of nasty stuff. It was going to spill all over you if I had let you finish."

Luan considered this. "Wow…" she said.

"Yeah, see, I…"

"So not only do you ruin one of my central acts, but you also can't even take responsibility for it?"

Lynn was not expecting that.

"Look, thanks for the help today, I guess. But I think I'm going to just call it quits. Forever. So, here's your piece of cake."

Luan gave her sister a piece of the cake. It was chocolate, and everyone knew the Loud girls were completely crazed chocoholics.

Lynn took the cake, sighed and said:

"Luan," Lynn started slowly, "I'm really sorry I ruined your big event. In hindsight, maybe there was a way to warn you, but I wasn't thinking. But I'm begging you, please don't quit. I know you love your funny business, you love making people smile and laugh along, and you love spending time with one of us working as your assistant."

Luan scoffed. "And why do you care? You just wanted the cake."

Lynn smiled and threw the cake on the ground. Like has been said before, the Loud girls were crazed chocoholics, so Luan was stunned and shocked to see her sister willingly throw away the treat she had craved.

"Who cares about cake? All I care about is my sister's happiness," said Lynn.

Luan looked at the piece of chocolate cake on the ground and back to her sister. She was stunned for a bit, but then she smiled.

"Ok. I believe you. If you were making everything up, you probably could have come up with a better speech than that."

Lynn laughed a little at that, prompting Luan to laugh at that, and then they both started laughing.

"Oh, and here," said Luan, offering her sister a second piece of cake she had in her backpack.

"You're giving this to me? But it's your only piece,"

"You earned it," said the jokester with a smile. "And until Lincoln heals up, do you want to stay as my assistant?"

Lynn smiled. "Is Michael Jordan the GOAT?"

Luan look confused.

Lynn sighed. "Yes, Luan, the answer is yes."

* * *

Tanya was at home, in her bed. Her plan to humiliate Luan had been foiled. And by her arch nemesis nontheless. It was an unbearable sense of defeat. Oh well, at least there was nothing to rub salt in the wound…

Her phone started vibrating. It was a notification about messages from Lynn.

Tanya looked at the phone. There was a picture and four messages.

The picture was of Lynn and some other girls dressed in red basketball uniforms.

First message: Just hanging with some friends, shooting hoops. I sure love spending time with my good friends Diane, Amy, Paula and MAYA.

Tanya looked at the photo in disbelief until she saw a nametag that indeed read "Maya."

Second message: You know, me and MAYA have a pretty great friendship.

Third message: Yep, I really appreciate my friend MAYA.

Fourth message: I think MAYA might be my best friend on this team. She has a nice personality, is easy to talk to, and, oh yeah, she has a really great name.

After reading that, Tanya had no choice but to start punching the wall in sheer blinding anger.

On the other side of that phone chat, sat Lynn on her bed. She looked behind her back to Luan.

"Are you sure that's good enough?"

"Oh trust me," said Luan, looking eerily like her April Fool's self, "That's good enough."

She started laughing manically, and after a few seconds, Lynn joined as well. A cacophony of sinister amusement bounced off the walls of the room, purely malicious and…

"Can you two keep it down? I'm trying to read my fortune."

"Sorry Lucy," they both responded.

* * *

 **One of the best parts about writing Tanya is that I can write a completely irredeemably evil villain without having to worry about making a canon character look bad. And it's fun to constantly up the levels of hatred between her and Lynn.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. And don't worry about the other sisters. They will get their turns eventually, though not next time. Next time I have a more comedic story idea, that I plan to release on April 1st (which, come to think of it, would have been a better time to release this chapter).**

 **Though if you can't wait for a Lana chapter, how about I do you one better? A whole story. The first chapter of my Lana-centric story "Like a Bad Dream" is up. It's a bit different from LTL, as it's not episodic and not comedic ("You're acting like this story is funny," I hear someone say), so if you do check it out, keep that in mind.**

 **One final thing: I might be going offline for a couple of days. I don't know how long, but I should be back by the weekend. Of course, I'll try to see if I can get connected during the week. If I can't, then you'll know why...**

 **Once again, thanks for all the support.**


	8. The Ship

**A/N: You know what, screw it. I know I promised you all a comedic chapter, but I'm tired of writing jokes. I'm burnt out, and I want to be taken seriously dammit! And I know just how to do it.**

 **Romance.**

 **Drama.**

 **Sensitive material.**

 **That's right. From now on, this is a shipping fic.**

 **The budding romance of two young friends, nay, siblings, trying to find their place in the world.**

* * *

"Lincoln, I…"

Lynn grabbed her breast, as she felt her heart beat like it never before. She began to breathe heavily, almost moaning with emotion. She felt her face go redder and redder as she stared at the smooth figure of her brother. It was a sight that never failed to intrigue her.

The boy backed away, nervously, his face red as well. Lynn giggled.

He looked so cute when he was embarrassed.

"I wanted to tell you…something. Something I've been hiding for… for a while," she finally blurts out. It takes all of her willpower to not faint from nervousness.

The young man before her responds. His voice quivers a little, but he asks his sibling:

"What… what is it?"

Lynn takes a step closer. Her legs, usually firm and strong on the football fields and basketball courts, now shook a little, as she continued moving forwards, towards the only brother she had.

"Lincoln… you know I… you know that I love you, right?"

Lincoln nodded, looking more nervous by the second.

"Until recently, I… I thought of you as a friend. You're my only brother, and the sibling that was the closest to me. Sometimes, I wanted nothing more than just spend an afternoon with you, playing basketball, jogging, just... just doing anything, because I wanted to be with you."

Lynn gulped. Now was the time. Time for her to reveal herself. Her ears burned and the thought of what she was going to say next made her cringe a little.

But she had to persevere. He had to hear this.

"And now I… I see you in a different way. Your features are more… visible to me. They're more... exciting to me. Your cute hair, standing on its roots. Your adorable smile, showing those perfect teeth. Your body, so firm despite its weakness, the body of someone who truly takes care of us…"

Lynn hugged herself, trying to not get to excited saying the next part.

"Who takes care of me," she said in a soft tone.

The boy looked at his sister, confused. Lincoln hoped that this was some sort of nightmare. Perhaps she was reciting lines for a play, and he had just forgotten. Or maybe this was a sick Luan prank, he didn't know...

Lincoln then looked at her again. Her face was warm and inviting, just begging for a kiss to be planted on it. He gulped a bit. A vast array of hormones, brain signals, feelings, memories and thoughts danced in his head, leaving the boy abjectly confused. Is this... is this something he _wanted_?

Lynn saw this, and gave him a flirtatious smile. She had him by the wall. He desperately tried to move away from her, but there was no room for any movement.

Lynn laughed a little. This was it. The perfect moment. What she had wanted for so long.

Lynn leaned into her brother's ear. "Hey Lincoln," she whispered sweetly.

"Wh…wh…what?" stammered the white haired youth.

Lynn took one last look at his face and smiled gently, making sure he could see her love on her face. Then she returned to his ear and:

"YOU'VE JUST BEEN HAD BY LYNN AND LINCOLN LOUD!"

The duo turned to the reader. "April Fools!" they shouted. They separated as Lynn fell to the floor laughing and Lincoln slided down the wall, hand planted on his forehead, laughing as well.

"As if I'd _actually_ be in love with my brother," Lynn laughed.

"That would have made the past and future chapters so much more awkward," chuckling Lincoln in agreement.

The brother-sister team stood there, laughing a little more at what crazy things they had just done to each other for a quick joke.

Lynn smiled at her brother. "But seriously, I love you, Lincoln. In a totally familial, acceptable way."

Lincoln nodded and smiled back. "I love you too, sis."

Lynn then wrapped her arm around her brother's shoulder and lovingly gave him a noogie.

* * *

 **Hah. That was a hilarious April Fools prank, wasn't it?**

…

 **Wasn't it?**

…

 **Alright, fine. I know it was bad. To make it up to you guys, a real chapter comes out tomorrow (To be fair, I did say this chapter wouldn't focus on any _sister_ ). If it makes you feel any better, the next chapter focuses on Lily, so that's something. And, needless to say, this chapter isn't canon. **

**Was it worth it, changing the rating from K+ to T for just one goof chapter?**

 **You bet it was.**


	9. The Lily of Her Eye

**A/N: Welcome back everyone. First things first, happy Easter. I would have said that yesterday, but I wasn't going to mention such an important and sacred holiday in** _ **that**_ **chapter.**

 **And one thing I feel needs mentioning; yes, the rating has changed to T, but I guarantee that the story will stay at the same "level" as it always has.**

 **That being said, let's see what our sporty protagonist is up to:**

* * *

"...And that, Lily, is how I survived the 2012 apocalypse. Of course, the government made it illegal to talk about it, and they'll try to trick you into thinking it never happened, but I thought you should know the story of how I saved our family... by myself."

Lynn looked down at her baby sister, watching as the infant yawned and closed her eyes, about ready to go to sleep. Lynn, being the helpful sister that she was, decided to tell her baby sister tales of her own glory as she drifted off. Eventually, though, enough was enough and she realized that she was no longer needed.

"Good night, Lily," whispered Lynn softly. She tucked the young girl in, making sure her body was completely covered by the warm blanket, and took a second to admire how cute Lily looked when she wasn't screaming or running around in a dirty diaper. She tip-toed away slowly, doing her best to make absolutely no noise. When she got to the door, she opened it door, gently, and got out. Then she slided it closer towards her, cautious to not even make a single creek…

"Hi Lynn."

"GAAAH," shouted Lynn as she slammed the door with a loud BANG. The two girls heard an audible whimper of fear coming from the room. Seconds later, the crying started.

"Lucy. Don't sneak up on me like that," Lynn said angrily to her sister, "You made me wake up Lily."

"Sorry," said the younger girl apologetically, though still in her usual deadpan tone.

Lynn went back over to Lily's crib, and Lucy teleported in after her. The two looked down at the baby, as she screamed and cried from the loud disturbance.

"Great. Now what do we do?" grumbled Lynn.

Lucy shrugged. "Maybe we should ask Lisa what she does in this scenario?"

"Good idea," responded Lynn, as she looked around the room. "Wait, where is Lisa?"

" _Sigh_ I don't know."

"What? I can't hear you. Lily's too loud," Lynn responded, holding her ear out to her sister. Lily had been well known for her very audible screaming, something the rest of the Loud family suspected Lisa had a hand in.

"I said I don't know," Lucy repeated.

"WHAT?!"

Lucy took a deep breath, and prepared herself to do something she almost never did: raise her voice. She leaned right into Lynn's ear.

Just then, Lily took a break from her screaming, to catch her breath.

"I SAID, I DON'T KNOW!"

"Ow…" complained Lynn as she rubbed her ear. "No need to yell, Luce."

Lily went back to crying. Her face was glowing from the sheer energy of her vocal output. Eventually, the noise got so loud that Lynn and Lucy had to rush outside the room, just so they could continue their conversation.

"We can't just leave her in there. Even I wouldn't want that kind of suffering inflicted on anyone," said Lucy once they were in the safe distance.

"I know, I know. Help me think. Who would know what to do in this scenario?" Lynn thought on the question for a second, before suddenly exclaiming: "Of course. Lori."

"Lori isn't here right now. She's at mini-golf with some of her friends, and you know she won't accept any calls from us when she's golfing."

"Fine. What about Leni?"

"She's at the mall. Don't bother calling her either. Lori mentioned something to her about how her phone was 'blowing up' with texts and she threw it out the window, thinking it was a grenade."

Despite the desperate situation they were, the two girls couldn't help but laugh at that.

"What about Luna?"

"With Sam. Do. Not. Disturb."

"Lincoln?"

"Detention, because he was late to class when you turned the janitor's closest into a giant Dutch Oven and locked him in it. Do you really think he'll answer you?"

Lynn gave a shrug and an uneasy smile.

"The twins?"

"I want you to really think about what you just said."

"Well, who else could we call? I have the phone right here. Just tell me who I can ask for help."

Lucy grabbed her phone and scrolled through page after page of contacts until she landed on one labeled 'Mom.'

Lyn looked blankly at the screen. "Oh, right."

Lynn put the phone to her ear and called her mother. She waited patiently as her poor sister cried out in the background. Lynn indicated to Lucy with her hands to go look after Lily. The goth girl nodded and went back in to try and calm down the infant.

Suddenly, there was a crackle on the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, Lynn. I'm just picking up Lincoln from detention. Do you need something?"

"Yeah," said Lynn with a sort of mischievous smile on her face, remembering what happened in the morning. She quickly snapped out of it, though, to focus on her more pressing concerns. "Look, we've got a bit of a situation with Lily. She was about to go to sleep, but now she won't stop crying. What should I do to calm her down?"

"What works for me is taking her to the park," her mother explained, "She probably just has a lot of energy right now. Take her there, maybe play some games with her."

Lynn beamed when she heard the word "games."

"Can do," she said excitedly.

"Good luck with Lily... Hold on... Wait, your brother wants to say something to you…"

Lynn could hear the phone being passed around between two people. After a few seconds, she heard Lincoln putting the phone to his ear. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, yet he still spoke in a really angry tone:

"Lynn, I can't believe what you…"

Lynn quickly hit the red button at the bottom of her screen, hanging up the phone. "Boy, is he going to be pissed later," she said with a bit of a laugh.

Remembering her mother's advice, she quickly ran back to Lily's room, and found the baby still crying.

"Lucy, we're going to park. It's the only thing that can help Lily."

Lucy groaned. "Do we have to? There's sunlight and… couples. Living, non-vampiric couples"

"Come on, Lucy. Look at Lily. You want to just leave her like this? Won't you do it for her?"

Lucy looked back to her baby sister, still sobbing very loudly, with no signs of slowing down. Though Lucy would like to tell people that her heart had been stolen by a hungry ghoul and replaced with a black and empty void, the truth is that she felt her heartstrings being pulled when she saw how much Lily was upset.

"Sigh. Alright."

Lynn smiled and picked up the baby. "Thank you Lucy."

"Just one last thing. In your contacts, the one listed above Mom was 'Manic Devil-Worshipping Gnome-Beast.' Was that…"

"Yes. Tanya's number."

* * *

Ketcham Park was a popular place in Royal Woods for parents to take their babies and toddlers. It had a lot of toys for the kids to play with, and a wide open area for general outdoor activities. Lynn herself had fond memories of coming to the park when she was younger, playing small games of catch with her father and older siblings, finding a certain joy in physical activity. In one memorable instance, when she was about five, a slighter older boy decided to steal her ball as a dare from one of his friends.

He found out why it was dare-worthy when she chased him across the park, and he could only escape her by hiding in the boy's bathroom and crying for his mother.

"Best times of my childhood were spent here…" Lynn said to Lucy, as the tomboy rolled a small red ball towards Lily. The baby giggled every time she got the ball, feeling proud of herself, and would roll the ball back to her older sister.

"Worst times of my childhood were spent here…" Lucy responded as she had Vietnam flashbacks to all the instances of where she had seen people… smile. They were so… happy and... not moping.

It was repulsive.

"Come on, Luce. Lighten up a little. How about you _Lynn_ dulge in a little physical activity?"

Lucy gave an audible sigh. "You've been making way too many name puns recently."

Lynn flashed her a smile. "It's not my fault I like to _Lynn_ clude my name in my speech as much as possible."

"Are you turning into a Smurf?"

"No Lynn. And I resent the implication Lynn."

"Those weren't even name puns."

Lily watched her two sister go back and forth and giggled at their conflict. "Poo-poo," she said as she clapped.

Lynn beamed at her baby sister as she rolled the ball back at her. "See? Lily likes them. So it's two against one."

Lucy just grunted.

"Fine," Lynn said as she picked the red ball of the ground, "Since I do want you to have some fun, how about we do something you like?"

"Like what?"

Lynn grinned mischievously. "You could read us that poem that you were writing when you thought I wasn't looking."

The black-haired girl nervously stuffed her hands in her pockets. "How did you know about that?"

Lynn laughed. "I know now."

"You're getting smarter."

Lynn beamed at the compliment.

"I wasn't complimenting you. This is like when the raptors learned how to open doors in Jurassic Park."

Though Lily didn't understand, the dramatic shift from happy to disappointed on Lynn's face made her laugh.

Lucy gave a slight smile. "See? Lily likes it."

"You're both bullies," Lynn mumbled.

"We learned from the best."

The three sisters were silent for a moment, but, prompted by nothing, began to laugh at that. Lynn laughed hysterically, hand holding her stomach as she laughed for no particular reason. Lily squealed with delight, and even Lucy gave some deadpan verbal indications of amusement. "Ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha..." she said.

After a while, the sisters stopped laughing. Lynn wiped a small tear from her eye. "Well, that was fun. But I can't help but feel like we've dropped the poem situation."

"And it will remain dropped," said Lucy sternly.

"Alright, alright," conceded Lynn as she looked back to Lily. The youngest of the Loud sisters looked sleepy again, as she yawned and began rubbing her eyes tiredly. It appears that she was finally worn out.

"Aww. Alright, Lily, let's get you home," Lynn said, picking up Lily. She carried her over to the baby stroller and put her gently inside with her blankie. Lily gave one final, slow little "Poo-poo," before she closed her eyes to sleep.

"Sleep tight, Lily," said both of her sisters. They looked at each other.

"JINX!" shouted Lynn.

Lucy made the shushing gesture and pointed to the sleeping baby.

"Sorry. Jinx. You owe me a soda," whispered Lynn.

* * *

It was nighttime in the Loud House. All the denizens were fast asleep, but one Lynn Loud Jr. awoke suddenly in the middle of the night. The soda that she had extorted from Lucy earlier that day had finally caught up to her, and she desperately needed to use the bathroom.

"Good thing everyone's asleep. No line for the restroom," Lynn whispered to herself, as she ripped off her blanket and quickly rushed to the toilet. She entered the small bathroom, ready to do her business, when she heard a small THUD on the other side of the door.

She grabbed the door handle and tried to open the door, but to no avail. Someone must have propped a chair on the other side. Someone like…

"Don't even bother trying," came the voice of her brother Lincoln.

"Lincoln, what is this…"

"Detention gave me a lot of time to think about how I would get back at you," explained her brother like a vengeful, gloating supervillian, "And I realized the best way to get payback for a Dutch Oven is through something even worse."

"What do you mea…"

"Let's just say that I clogged the toilet again," said Lincoln. Then he added, with a satisfied grin, "Only this time, it wasn't CDs."

Lynn realized in horror what her brother was referring to. She looked over at the toilet. The seat was closed, and she knew that even she didn't have the courage to open it.

"Alright, Linc, you got me. Let's just take a deep breath (I won't, but you could), move the chair, open the…"

"Good night, Lynn."

"Li-Lincoln?" the girl asked in a panic as she heard footsteps going away, getting quieter and quieter. "Lincoln, I get your point. And I'm sorry about earlier. Lincoln? Lincoln? LINCOLN!"

Even through the door, Lynn could hear Lincoln do his usual "Sometimes, in this family..." monologue that he did every week or so. She knew once he started, there was nothing that could stop him, so she could save her breath.

Lynn went over to sit at the foot of the bath, still staring at the toilet. Despite her situation, she couldn't help but feel proud and smile a little.

"I trained you well, Lincoln. Couldn't be more proud of ya, even if you do narrate everything like you're on TV," she said as she closed her eyes and rested her head on her knees, trying to ignore the awful smell that filled the bathroom.

* * *

 **I don't know about you guys, but I plan to tell the youngsters about my heroic efforts to survive the 2012 apocalypse...**

 **Hope you all enjoyed this short chapter. I've always loved roommate relations more than anything else. Nothing makes me smile more than Leni misunderstanding Lori's metaphors, Luna and Luan helping each other with their performances, Lola and Lana arguing over something and reconciling, Lisa showing her more human side by taking care of Lily and, of course, Lynn and Lucy being friends despite their vastly different personalities. And I'm glad I got to throw Lily into that relationship this chapter.**

 **That's it for now. See ya.**


	10. Mall Fry

**A/N: Yes, Chapter 10. We've made it. To celebrate this occasion, my computer thought it would be funny to shut down while I had this chapter and some other stories open. And it didn't AutoRecover.**

 **I think I almost cried when I realized I'd have to retype everything, both for this story and others. Oh, well. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

It was a regular day at the Loud House. Most of the sibling were enjoying the activities that they usually did. Lincoln read his comics, Lola practiced her ribbon dance, and Lisa was in the living room, tiredly arguing with two of her older sisters.

"Look, I'm just saying," said an exasperated Lisa, "that it's been a handful of April Fool's and birthdays, but no one had aged at all. Lily has been a baby for _years_ at this point. Are you seriously telling me neither of you have noticed at all?"

If Lisa had chosen which siblings to share her findings with more wisely, she may have gotten a reaction. She may have convinced someone, gotten them to think, and even gained an ally in her search for the answers.

Unfortunately, she chose Lynn and Leni.

"Yeah, yeah, that's fascinating, Lisa," said Lynn inattentively, as she and Leni moved around in their seat, trying to view the TV screen behind Lisa's head. The young genius noticed the lack of interest her older sisters had, and sighed, disappointed.

"Alright, fine, I'll let you two get back to watching your _oh-so-important_ satellite dish."

"Lisa, we're not washing dishes. We're watching TV," said Leni, confused why her normally genius sister would make such a mistake.

Lisa rolled her eyes and left, leaving Lynn and Leni to enjoy their time watching _Operation: Dessert Storm_. However, after five minutes, the TV suddenly shut down, as the images of the sweet, lovingly-crafted red velvet cheesecake were replaced with pure static. "Hey, what the hell?" asked Lynn annoyed, with her question being answered by a quick "Ha" from upstairs.

Lynn slumped back into her seat, arms crossed and eyebrows as angry as could be. "Great, the TV's been busted by Lisa," she said as she turned back to her older sister, "So Leni, what should we do now?"

Before Leni could answer, Lori came down the stairs, happily talking on the phone with a smile on her face.

"Yeah… yeah… totally… I'll literally be at the mall A-SAP."

When the eldest sister mentioned the word "mall," Leni's eyes brightened up with an idea. She looked back to Lynn and studied her carefully, grabbing her face and analyzing every part of her head and hair without saying a word, making the tomboy a bit confused.

"Leni, what are you doing?" Lynn asked to no response, as her blonde sister continued looking over her with an unusually serious look on her face, until she finally gave a big smile and let go. Leni then turned to her roommate.

"Hey Lori, are you going to the mall?" she asked. Lori looked back to her and nodded, "Yes. Do you want to come with me?"

"Nope," Leni chirped cheerfully as she wrapped her arm around Lynn and drew her closer, "We _both_ want to come with you."

"Hey, hey, speak for yourself," responded Lynn as she struggled to pull herself out of Leni's grasp, "I was just going to go outside and shoot some hoops."

Leni gasped. 'Lynn… why would you want to shoot Lana's frog?" she asked as her eyes began to water.

"Hoops, Leni. Not Hops," said Lori, rolling her eyes. She then turned to her sporty sister. "Not that I care either way, but why don't you come with us? The more the merrier, I guess."

Lynn thought about it. Normally she wouldn't have given it a second thought before getting up and running outside to play with her basketball. But she felt that she could use some more time with Leni. Aside from their brief stint as roommates, in which she had made use of Leni as a dumbbell, the two didn't spend that much time together.

Plus, Lynn remembered how she and her friends would write on the bathroom walls. She did need to catch up with Margo's graffiti jokes…

"Fine. Let's go."

Leni beamed, while Lori just rolled her eyes with apathy. The trio got in the car; Lori in the driver seat, Leni in passenger, as Lynn just behind Lori. As they drove to their destination, Lori and Leni mostly talked about what clothes they could afford, so Lynn couldn't help but feel like she was getting bored.

"Hey," she interrupted her older sisters' conversation, "Let's play a game. Every time we see an out-of-state license plate, I punch Lori."

The death glare Lynn received from her sister in the mirror was all she needed to stop.

* * *

"So I'm going to meet up with my friend. I want you two to stick together, and meet me back here in about three hours. You got that?"

Leni and Lynn nodded their heads.

"Good," said Lori, "Normally I would say that you two are responsible for one another, but…" she paused, as she took another quick glance at her siblings, "…I don't think that applies to you two."

She then gave a special look at Lynn. "And you're just not responsible in general, so please be on your best behavior."

Lynn scoffed. "When have I not been responsible in the mall?"

"Did you forget about that time you taught all the parrots at the pet store swear words?"

"That's not fair, Luan did it too."

"Yes… but at least she didn't trip over her untied shoelaces and then try to cover up her actions by claiming she was a National Geographic correspondent exploring the fascinating world of _those macaws or whatever the hell_."

"But…"

Another powerful death glare. It appears that Lori had been practicing.

After the eldest Loud sister walked off, Lynn and Leni looked at each other with amused smiles on their faces. "So, Leni, what do you want to do now?"

"I totes have the perfect idea for what we should do together," Leni said as she barely contained her excitement, "We're going to give you a complete, 100% makeover."

…

"Wh-what?" asked Lynn.

"Oh sorry. I guess I should have known you wouldn't know about that. See, a makeover is when…"

"I know what they are," snapped Lynn, "I just want to know why you want to give me one?"

Leni gave her a smile, and Lynn felt a bit… unnerved by that smile. It wasn't a normal happy smile. It was a… special smile. She had seen it before. After thinking about it for a few seconds, Lynn gasped as she realized where she had seen it before. It was the smile Leni gave Lincoln as he prepared to go out with Ronnie-Anne. It was the smile she gave Luna whenever she brought Sam over for a jam session. It was the smile she used to give Lori when she and Bobby first started dating. It was…

The shipping smile.

"Oh no," said Lynn in horror as she slowly backed away, "no, no, no. I can't believe that you dragged me down here just to try to help my love life. Its fine, you can walk away…"

"Oh really?" said Leni, still with the shipping smile etched onto her face, "Then tell me: When was the last time you spoke to Francisco after the Love Letter incident?"

"Well, I, um…" Lynn stammered as her face went redder and redder, "I've been busy with my tennis, and he's also been busy with… stuff…"

"Like, what stuff?"

"Busy looking good in uniform…" Lynn said with a dreamy look and a bit of drool escaping her mouth.

Leni grabbed her brown-haired sister by the shoulders, pulling her out of her daydreams. "Lynn, just admit it. You're strong on the field, but you're, like, too shy to approach your dream guy."

"Yeah, but… No… I…"

Lynn sighed in defeat. Her older sister had her.

"Can you… can you help me?" she genuinely asked her sister.

Leni gave her a pinch on her cheeks. "Of course, silly. I'd totes be happy to."

* * *

"The first step to looking your best is with new clothes."

"What's wrong with my clothes?" asked Lynn, visibly offended.

"Well, red is your color, so how about this dress?" Leni asked as she held up a very fashionable red dress. Evidently, she did not hear, or care for, Lynn's outburst.

"I do not wear dresses."

"You do sometimes."

"Does it look like someone is graduating?"

Leni gave her puppy dog eyes, something she had trained Lynn to do at one point. Still, the master does have certain sway over the student, and Lynn found herself a few moments later in the red dress.

"Okay, I wore it, and I don't like it. Can I take it off now and leave?"

Leni shook her head. "Don't bother. I already bought it and four others like it when you were in the changing room."

"You didn't even wait for me to finish?"

Leni clapped her hands. "Come on, Lynn. Chop, chop. We got other things to do."

Then she paused. "Chop, chop? Is there a cut in prices somewhere?"

Lynn groaned.

The next place that Lynn was dragged to was a smoothie place. "Great, finally, something good to see," said Lynn as she sat on the stool next to the counter, "One orange soda, please."

The girl behind the counter scoffed. "We don't, like, serve those drinks around here. There's so filled with, like, sugars and caffienes and bubbles. They are really, like, bad for you."

"Exactly," said Leni, "so we'll have to double kelp-asparagus smoothies with extra ground-up peach pit."

"So gross… and I'm saying that," remarked Lynn.

After they emptied their cups (Leni actually drinking it and Lynn just sneaking spills onto the floor 'Maybe they'll get a lawsuit when someone slips. Serve them right') Leni excitedly grabbed her sisters hand and pulled her over to what she was most excited for.

"Here we are," Leni said with pure, unbridled glee, "The greatest place in this mall, hosted by one of the greatest people in this country…"

"Are you talking about little old me?" said Morris as he literally slid across the floor to them.

"Lynn, this is Morris," Leni introduced, "He is literally a genius when it comes to… well, everything."

"Oh stop Leni, you're making me blush," Morris responded with a laugh, as he turned to get a good look at Lynn, studying and analyzing her, "Yes, yes, I can work with this. Of course, the last time I performed a miracle for one of Leni's siblings, it didn't turn out so well."

Lynn looked at Leni. "He's talking about that time me and Lincoln were working on the podcast."

"Oh, I see. Speaking of which, when am I going to get my tur…"

"MAKEOVER TIME!" exclaimed Morris with a burst of energy. He grabbed tape measures and strings and began to take every small measurement possible. "Yes, yes, a bit short, but I can find the perfect outfit."

"I thought we already went clothes shopping?" Lynn asked Leni. The older girl smiled. "I know, but Morris is way better at it than I could ever be."

"Oh, stop it, Leni."

"Ok."

"Actually, never mind. Keep going."

And that was how it was for the next half hour. Morris presenting ridiculous outfit after ridiculous outfit, Lynn feebly protesting the madman's choices, as Leni sat in background, singing praises to his fashion genius, much to Morris' occasional encouragement. Many people who walked by would have found this scene to be utterly comical and unbelievable, until they realized that two out of three of the participants were Loud sisters. Then everything made sense.

"Well, I'm done," proclaimed Morris as she showed Lynn to the mirror. When she saw how she looked, Lynn could say nothing. She looked back and forth, between the mirror and Morris and Leni, expecting one of them to proclaim that the crimson-and-violet scarf, the heart-shaped sunglasses, the far too long dress, and the weird conical straw hat were a funny prank or joke they were playing. But no, the two kept smiling at the tomboy, and waited patiently for her reaction.

"Are... are you serious?"

"Oh my God, you're right. This is horrible," exclaimed Morris as he slapped his forehead.

"Thank you, now..."

Morris grabbed a small bottle of perfume and sprayed Lynn with it. No, sprayed wasn't the right word. Drowned... yes, drowned is a better word.

"There. Now its perfect," said a prideful Morris to the gagging Lynn. The scent was repulsive. It was like the scent of a billion skunk releases, with a drop of lemon to trick people into thinking it was not the stench that killed the dinosaurs.

"You know what? THAT IS IT!" yelled Lynn as she ripped the hat off her head and crushed it.

"I have tried your ways Leni. I tried those horrible clothes, I tried those horrible drinks, and now I stink of... whatever this is."

"Its called... 'art.'"

"Shut it, Morris."

Lynn turned back to her sister. "You've done a horrible job of helping me. And I'm done."

Before Leni could even muster a defense, Lynn rushed out of the store, still in the long dress. After wandering aimlessly for a while, Lynn started turning her thoughts away from her anger to something else. Something a bit unrecognizable at first, but as Lynn continued to walk, she came to slowly realize what it was:

Guilt.

"What do I have to feel guilty for? Leni and Morris were the ones who waterboarded me with that stench."

She tried to ignore her feelings, but found that, after a while, it wouldn't go away. In fact, it only seemed to get stronger and stronger. Eventually, she sighed. Lynn knew she didn't have the best 'emotional intelligence' but she knew someone who did...

* * *

Lynn rushed over to the bathroom on the first floor. She and her friends had made a fun game out of writing whatever insane jokes came to their minds on the stalls. It was a contest, mostly to outdo each other. But for whatever reason, Lynn decided that this was where she needed to find guidance.

"Margo, you're usually the voice of reason in my hectic life, but since I can't talk to you now, I can only hope your bathroom writings will contain the same wisdom that you do," Lynn rubbed her hands and grabbed the cold metal handle of the door, "Please don't let me down."

She entered the stall and searched amongst the various messages and one-liners written by her, Polly Pain, the Turkey Jerkies, and some of her sisters before coming to Margo's latest gem:

 **This bathroom sux There are no boys :(**

Lynn rubbed her chin as she read that over and over. "I see what you're saying Margo."

She sat on the toilet seat and sighed. "Leni wasn't doing anything bad. She just wanted to help me in her own way. If I just approached the boys I like, then maybe she wouldn't have felt like she had to get involved. If only I could have been 'on the field' like I am on the field."

Her eyes steeled with resolve. "I need to make things right with Leni. Thank you, Margo. Your wisdom never ceases to impress me."

Lynn rushed out of the bathroom and ran all over the mall, searching for her older sister. She checked the salon, the clothing stores, the vegan food chains ("No meatballs; no thanks").

Finally, she decided to head over to a fountain that was located near the middle of the building. She found Leni there, head hanging, sipping from a small cup of coffee, then chewing. It appears she forgot the difference between food and drink again.

"Leni."

The fashion-obsessed girl turned to see her tomboyish sister standing there, with a very apologetic look on her face.

"Leni, I am so sorry…" started Lynn before Leni cut her off with a wave of her hand.

"Lynn, do you know why I brought you here today?"

Lynn nodded. "To get me a new look."

"No. It was to give you confidence," said Leni in a strange tone, almost like she… really thought about it.

"Like, makeup doesn't last forever. You're not always going to be wearing your best clothes. But, like, what it's really about is one thing…"

Leni got up from her seat and stood in front on Lynn, then pointed at Lynn's heart.

"Confidence. That burst of confidence you get; that's what sticks with you."

Lynn looked between her sister and herself. Leni's words surprised her, but what surprised her more was that it was _Leni_ that was saying this.

"But I have a lot of confi…"

"When you chase after a football or a baseball bat, then yes. But when you chase after love, then no. I just wanted to give you the strength to find who you love. You don't need new clothes or hair dye," she gave Lynn a small smile before saying, "You're beautiful the way you are."

"Leni, I…"

Lynn had to take a second to gulp. Leni's unusual, but not unwelcome, display of maturity had really hit her.

"Leni, I… I'm really sorry. I should have known you just had my best interests at heart. I was wrong to get angry with you, and... and I can't apologize enough."

"Apology not accepted."

Lynn swore her heart stopped for a second. "Wh… what?"

Then Leni gave her… the shipping smile. "Not until you call Francisco and tell him how you feel."

Lynn felt her face go completely red. "Ok, no. I promise to give you manicures for the rest of the month."

"No thank you," Leni said with a sweet smile.

"Give you whatever massage you want, whenever."

Leni shook her head.

"Bathroom time. I'll go in the bushes, and you can have my spot in the bathroom line…"

"Lynn… just call him already."

Lynn sighed in defeat. "Ok," she muttered, "Can I have your phone? I forgot mine."

Leni gave Lynn her phone, and the sporty girl scrolled through her contacts until she got to **F**.

Francisco. It appears Leni had his number saved for just such an occasion. She took a deep breath before opening his contact info.

"Can you at least hit the call button with me?"

Leni nodded. "Totes."

She put her finger next to Lynn's. "Ready?" she asked.

Lynn nodded with coolness. Though she was still a little worried, she didn't let it show.

"Alright… 3… 2…1!"

The two hit the call button at the same time.

* * *

 **Honestly, I think this is my favorite chapter so far.**

 **So this isn't going to turn into a shipping fic, but I would like to throw in a bit more Francisco, and make him just a bit more important in story. Of course, if the show decides to break out someone else, well that would be embarrassing for me, but I'd still like to have him as an important character.**

 **Speaking of important characters, the reason Tanya didn't appear in this chapter is because she was making a small cameo in "Carol Likes Luna" by JamesSunderlandsPillow, a fantastic story that I cannot recommend enough, with its mix of sweet moments, dynamic characters, drama and humor.**

 **If Tanya ever did become cemented in the fandom, I would squeal of happiness. I can already see it now: Lynn-centric fics where Tanya pops up as an adversary, NSL fics where Tanya is good because Lynn is evil, perhaps even TanyaXLynn ;)**

 **Come on, guys, let's make Tanya the next Liberty.**

 **Of course, thank you all for reading, and stick around for the chapter(s) about the twins.**


	11. Live to Twin: Part 1

**A/N: Well, we've made it. We've finally got all the Loud siblings down. Its kinda a big occasion for me, so excuse me while I ramble a bit.**

 **I think the show itself has changed ever since I started watching it last year. We've suddenly begun seeing episodes that focus on the sisters, and the sisters interacting with each other. I really hope we soon get an episode focusing on Lynn with one of her sisters (I will always refer to that episode as an 'Live to Lynn,' regardless of what they choose to call it :P).**

 **And I think Lynn's reputation has changed as well. In Season 1, she was a fan-favorite. In Season 2, she was one of the most hated, along with Lola and Luan (two sisters who also don't deserve the hate). But now in Season 3, I've seen a lot of people gravitate towards her again. Some say she's their new favorite, and others have placed her higher on their lists. It makes me happy to see my favorite character make a comeback (it sounds so cringey and childlish to admit that, but I write fanfic for a kid's show, so who cares? XD).**

 **And with that, a two-parter focusing on the twins. Sorry it took so long, but I've had a lot of stuff to deal with and I wanted to make these ones special. Enjoy.**

* * *

"LYNN!"

Lynn sighed and put down her little bouncy ball, and sat up on her bed. Duty called yet again.

Lana burst into Lynn's room, looking a bit anxious and panicked. The girl hopped in her place from sheer adrenaline, as she looked to her sister for help. "Lynn, please, I need your help."

"Sure. What is Lans? Having nightmares again?"

"Wrong story, Lynn," said Lana as she shook her head, "It's Lola. I got a small peak at the present she got me for our anniversary…"

"Wait, which anniversary is this?"

"The anniversary of the day we became scouts," said Lana with a bit of a questioning look on her face, "Didn't I already mention that earlier?"

Lynn scratched her chin as she tried to recall. "Oh yeah. I don't know why I keep forgetting that."

"So now I have to get her something nicer, or it'll be like I don't care about her," finished the young wrench monkey, flailing her arms about as if to show the importance of this situation.

"Well, why don't you just do what I do? Just go through your sibling's things, find something they probably forgot about it, wrap it up and give it back to them," Lynn said with a glimmer of pride. Her strategy had always worked, and it was the most brilliant scheme she had come up with.

Lana gave her a blank look. "Umm… do you do that to me too?"

…

…

…

Lynn patted Lana on her head. "No, Lana, I would never do that to you," she said softly.

…

…

"How about we just order something online or off the phone, and we can get it delivered within the day?"

Lana shook her head and blushed a little, "I don't think any mailman will ever deliver to us after last time..."

The two girls recalled the incident when Lana set her most vicious pets on the mailman before joining in herself, scratching and biting the poor man before he ran off in tears with the rabid aggression most feral dogs could only envy. They looked back at each other, and chuckled about it.

Lynn slammed her fist into her hand. "Well, the only other option is to go to the mall."

Lana groaned. "Come on. It's always so sparkly and clean there."

"Well, what other option do you have? You can give her whatever you have now, but it seems like that isn't good enough. So, are we going or not?"

Lana gave her sister a determined look and nodded. She wasn't about to be outdone by her twin sister. She would go to the ends of the earth to get Lola a better gift than anything Lola could give her. The rivalry between twins was a legendary quality of the Loud House, but combine that with their mutual love for each other, and you had force of nature that could not be stopped.

Lynn grinned at the younger tomboy, "Excellent, determination is key. LORI, GET THE CAR! YOU'RE TAKING US TO THE MALL!"

"Um, Lynn," said Lana hesitantly, trying not to ruin her sister's enthusiasm, "Lori's gone. She's out at her part-time job."

"Oh," said Lynn, before she called out "MOM! DAD! CAN ONE OF YOU TAKE US TO THE MALL?"

No response.

"I guess they aren't home," Lana said with a bit of a shrug.

"No, no. They're just ignoring us. Watch this," said Lynn. She ran over to the stairs and yelled down, "What's that everyone? You're holding a contest to decide who's the better Lynn Loud? And I'm in the lead."

No response, other than Lisa giving the two an annoyed glance.

"Huh, I guess they really aren't home. That usually works on him," Lynn said as she turned back to Lana. "Well, there is only one thing left to do. We walk to the gas station and hope for the best."

Lana looked visibly excited by this prospect. "Can we get some of those gross gas station sandwiches?"

"Sure, though I don't think Lola would like one of those…"

"Not for her. For us."

"Oh," said Lynn, before checking how much money she had in her wallet. She had spent a lot of dough printing out flyers that read "Steroids use in middle school sports?" with a picture of Tanya at the top, but she had enough for those sandwiches.

"Sure, why not? Let's go." she said with an excited smile, as she and Lana ran down the stairs and out of the house.

* * *

 _Is this all there is to my life?_ Flip thought to himself, with his hand on his forehead, as he stared into his cash register, _Just worthless worship of the dollar, a never ending obsession with consumerist transaction._

 _What happened to my ability to form meaningful connection with human beings? Where did I abandon the respect and love I had for my family, for my community? Is that true happiness; to benefit others and then be benefited yourself by the soulful connection?_

 _Perhaps… I was wrong to obsess over materialistic goods at the expense of my fellow man. Perhaps I was wrong to believe that money could fill the void that can only be filled with something deeper, something more holistic. Perhaps I was…_

"Yo, Flip. Get us two of those nasty egg and shrimp sandwiches," shouted Lynn as she opened the door, Lana following in after her.

"That'll be ten dollars, Lincoln's sister and Lincoln's sister," Flip shouted back as he reached over to the unwrapped sandwiches with his bare hands.

"Aw, come on. These used to be cheaper," complained Lynn.

"Yeah, that was before you made me a loser with your horrible basketball team."

"Hey, don't insult my team. I love all my teammates and I will not hear you demean them."

"If you love them so much, why don't you marry 'em?"

Lynn blushed and started playing a bit with her hair, "Well, I guess Paula does look kinda nice in the right light. I mean, I wouldn't marry her (that honor goes to my destiny Francisco), but maybe, one day, we'd be playing some basketball on a muddy field… I'd slip on some mud, fall to the ground… she'd fall on top of me… and we'd just sit there, laughing and enjoying each other's company, until she starts gently stroking my ponytail…"

Lana coughed uncomfortably.

"Oh, right," said Lynn as she was snapped out of her delusions, "Just give us the sandwiches already."

As the two left to go look through the store for Lola's gift, Flip sniffed the ten bucks he had just been given.

What was he thinking before; this was the life. This was his life.

"One boy, ten dollars. Wouldn't trade it for the world," said Flip with a slimy cackle.

Back to the two characters we can sorta tolerate, they were eating their awful sandwiches as they wandered around, looking for a perfect gift. Normally, people would only eat that which tastes good, and avoid the bad tasting stuff at all costs, but the two tomboys had a bit of a game going on. The game was "How much shrimp can you find in this shrimp sandwich?"

"Alright, I'm done with my grub. I got two small pieces and a sliver of a tail. You?" asked Lynn.

"I got a piece of salmon," Lana said with a shrug.

"So Flip doesn't even pretend to sell shrimp anymore," Lynn said in amazement. Flip's cheapness could never be doubted. "Anyways, now that we've eaten, it's time to get you a present for Lola. What do you think she'd like?"

Lana removed her hat and scratched her head with it. "I think it needs to be something prissy and pink and junk like that."

"So basically something you would never want?"

"Yep," said Lana with a proud smile.

"Ok," said Lynn as she scanned the aisle, "So, what should we get her?"

The look in Lana's eyes changed from a prideful glee to a look of confusion and worry. "I... I have no idea."

"Hey, hey, no need to get so down, we can get her... these" Lynn said as she grabbed a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses, "Do you think she'd like these?"

"Um... I don't know. Maybe," Lana said with uncertainty.

"Fine... how about this tiara?" Lynn showed her younger sister the plastic replica.

"Probably not. It looks cheap."

"Fine. I'm sure you can point something out, right?" Lynn said as she attempted an encouraging smile.

Lana rubbed her chin and thought about it, before she snapped her fingers, "I got it. Follow me."

The two girls started walking around the store. They walked past the dairy aisle, the plastic utensils aisle, the computer accessories aisle, the poster aisle ( _How many aisles does this place need?_ Lynn thought as she followed Lana around). Eventually, after fifteen minutes of trekking, the girls found themselves... back at the front door.

"Um... Lans... I think you may have made a wrong turn somewhere."

Lana sighed. "No, no I didn't." The blonde girl slumped down at the door, and looked generally mopey. Lynn recognized that Lana was about to go through some heavy emotions, and decided to go into caring big sister mode. She sat down next to Lana and asked her the simple question; "What's wrong?"

"It's just that... I saw what Lola got me, and it was such a good present... it shows that she really knows what I'm into, and she prepared for it... but look at me; I'm at a gas station looking for a cheap gift to celebrate an annual anniversary, and I still don't know what to get," she gave a sigh.

Lynn was normally rambunctious and probably would have punched Lana on the shoulder and told her to get over it, but now that she was in 'big sister mode,' she had no choice but to wrap her arm comfortingly around Lana's shoulder and draw her a little closer. "Come on, Lana. You're a great twin, and a great sister in general. Trust me, I've done so much worse to everyone else."

"You mean like that time you said that Lincoln was bad luck..."

Lynn hissed, indicating to Lana to shut up.

"My point is," she said, trying to return to her caring voice after that outburst "You're really great to everyone. You're fun-loving, brave, energetic, caring. I'm sure Lola is glad that she has a great twin like you."

"Yeah, but... the gift..."

"Wanna hear a secret?"

Lana nodded.

Lynn flashed her a mischievous grin, "I helped her pick out that gift for you."

Lana's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

Lynn gave a short nod. "Yep, Lola came to me, just like you. She said 'Lana got me such an amazing gift. Help me one-up her.' And we had a little chapter of our lives about going to get you a gift."

"So... she didn't know the perfect gift for me either?"

Lynn shook her head. "But she loved you enough to want to get you something perfect, and came to me. _OfcourseshedidgotoLoriandLincolnfirstbutIdonotcareatall_ ," she said the last part under her breath.

Lana looked at her sister with awe, then looked at the ground for a second, thinking about something, before giving Lynn a hug. "Aw, thanks Lynn. For everything."

Lynn gave Lana a small smile and returned the hug, 'You're welcome Lana. Hey, us smelly girls got to stay together," she said as she let out a laugh, Lana soon following.

Then Lana felt a lightbulb go off in her head. "That's it," she said as she got up and quickly sprinted across the store. Lynn got up and chased after her, until they both reached the perfume aisle. Lana was eyeing one particular bottle of perfume; only problem was that it was really expensive.

"That would be perfect for her. Too bad I don't have any money for it," said Lana as she revealed the inside of her pockets were filled with what Lynn hoped were jelly snacks (They weren't). "Do you enough for it?" Lana asked.

Lynn shook her head, but gave Lana a small smile. "Follow me."

* * *

 _Why is there still so much existential doubt in my mind?_ Flip asked himself. _Why can't I move on and accept my place in this flawed, mundane plane of existen..._

Lynn slammed the expensive perfume on Flip's counter, interrupting his train of thought. "We're taking this for free, so bag it up, Lardo."

Flip looked at both of them blankly, before he burst out laughing, "Ah, that's a good one, Lincoln's sister. But seriously, if you two aren't paying you can just go home."

"Oh, we'll go home, but you'll go to jail," Lynn said as she pointed accusatorily at him, "Cause if we leave without this bottle of fragrance, we're telling our parents about last winter. Remember, when you left us all to DIE in a hamburger joint."

"Wha... wha..."

"Did you really think we forgot about that? I'm surprised we haven't squealed sooner," said Lynn with unwavering confidence, "So we'll be taking this and..." she turned to Lana, "Do you want anything?"

Lana pulled a bag of dog treats off the shelves. "I like to get my desserts from the same place I get my dinners."

"She likes to get her desserts from the same place she gets her dinners," Lynn repeated to Flip, "So, what's it going to be?"

Flip started sweating at the brow and wiped it away (cleaning his hand with a roll of lottery tickets). "Fine, you win, Lincoln's sister. But it won't work the next time you threaten me with it."

Lynn gave him an evil smile. "That's what you said last time."

* * *

The two girls enjoyed a nice walk back home, carrying their things and discussing several very important topics for Lana's future development...

"And that's why, if you want get into a good college, you need to wake up early in the morning and save the bathroom for me. Universities really look well on people who perform community services."

"Well, we've made it back," Lana said as they walked through the front door. She beamed at Lynn and grabbed the bottle of perfume excitedly. "Now I'll go wrap it up and leave it in my hiding place so I can give it Lola."

Lynn gave her a smile back. "Congrats on your scout anniversary, by the way."

"Thanks, Lynn. And thanks... for helping me today."

"No problem. It was nice to spend some time with you. I've been spending a lot of one-on-one time with people recently. And to tell you the truth," Lynn started ruffling through Lana's hair, "You're the one I see myself in the most."

The two parted ways, and Lynn went back into her room, immediately rushing over to her bed as the tiredness soon took over her.

"Finally, back in my room," said Lynn as she got back on her bed and stretched out, "Now, what do I do for the rest of the..."

"LYNN!" came a high-pitched voice from down the hallway.

"Well, there's my answer," Lynn said with a defeated sigh.


	12. Live to Twin: Part 2

"Finally, back in my room," said Lynn as she got back on her bed and stretched out, "Now, what do I do for the rest of the..."

"LYNN!" came a high-pitched voice from down the hallway.

"Well, there's my answer," Lynn said with a defeated sigh.

The door swung wide open, revealing a steamed Lola Loud. Lynn gulped; she may have been one of the stronger Louds, but when it came to Lola…

…abandon all hope.

The pageant princess rushed over to Lynn and grabbed her roughly by her jersey, drawing her closer. "Lynn, why did you help Lana get a gift?" Lola demanded angrily, "And why did you get something so good it makes MY GIFT LOOK BAD!"

"Lola, please, you're hurting me…" Lynn begged.

"And now," continued Lola, without acknowledging her older sister's complaints, "if I give Lana my original gift, she's going to think I don't care about her. She's going to HATE ME FOR GETTING HER SUCH A CRUMMY PRESENT!"

Despite the overwhelming fear clouding Lynn's mind, she couldn't help but admire Lola's love for her twin. It would have been sweet, were she not being threatened by the six-year old waking nightmare…

"Hey, that gift wasn't crummy. We picked it out, and it was nice," Lynn protested.

Lola sighed, and let go of her sister. She then started pretending like she was stroking an invisible cat, "You know, Lynn, if you don't help me pick out something better, I'll have to assume it's because you have your own shopping to do…"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, of course you couldn't help me get a present for Lana. You were too busy buying yourself some new equipment after all of your previous sports materials," Lola gave an evil grin, "Were ruined."

Lynn gasped "You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would," said Lola, jumping on the bed with her sister and standing tall over her, "I'm completely willing to pop all your soccer balls, your basketballs, your bowling balls…"

"You can't pop a bowling ball."

"Oh, she'll find a way," Lori said as she stuck her head through the door, "I once forgot to take her to the salon, and she somehow managed to literally pop my golf clubs."

"Thank you, Lori," said Lola with a curt nod. The young girl in pink turned back to Lynn, "So, what's it going to be?"

"Fine," Lynn said in defeat, "We'll go find something for your little anniversary thing. Let's go to Flip's. We can basically blackmail him for anything.

Lola gasped. "As if _I_ would purchase my heartfelt gift from an icky gas station. That's something I would never do, nor would any civilized person do that. And I know for a fact that even Lana would be more considerate than that."

…

…

…

"Lynn, why are smiling like that?"

* * *

"So, where do you even want me take to take you two?" Lori asked in frustration as Lynn and Lola got into Vanzilla, "Neither of you have told me where to go, and I'm literally on a schedule."

" _Yeah, can't miss your appointment at the fart doctor_ ," Lynn muttered under her breath. Lola giggled.

"What did you say?" Lori called over from the front.

"Nothing," Lynn replied sweetly, before turning to her younger sister, "But seriously, where are we supposed to go to get Lana her gift?"

Lola shrugged, "I don't know. You're the tomboy. What would you want as a gift?"

"Excuse me? There are different types, you know," Lynn replied, "Plus, what I would want isn't what she would want. I'd like nothing more than a new hockey stick, but I'm sure that Lana would want something like a plunger or whatever…"

Lola snapped her fingers. "Of course. The hardware store."

"Hardware store, got it," said Lori from the front, as she started backing out of the driveway.

"Great. We can finally get Lana the most _Lynn_ sane gift in the world."

Lynn's two blonde sisters groaned at the lame pun.

Lynn looked down at Lola. "Oh, come on. You laughed when Dad made the exact same joke."

"Maybe he just has a better sense of comedic timing than you," Lola said as she stuck her tongue out.

"Or maybe you're just a huge Daddy's girl," Lynn said as she did the same.

* * *

After Lori dropped her two younger sisters off, they decided to start wandering the aisles of the store, looking for anything that could make the perfect gift.

"Is there anything that she doesn't already have?" Lynn asked.

Lola shook her head. "Nope. Her toolbox has everything. I would know, she says goodnight to every single one of them, one by one," she said, clearly unhappy with that situation.

Lynn scratched her head. "Then, we just need to find something that's better that what she already has. Some kind of expensive screwdriver or hammer or something. I mean, its Lana. She can't have _really_ high standards."

When Lynn said that, Lola gave her… a look. Not one of agreement, not one of angry, not even one of disapproval. The look that Lola gave her sporty sister was more… disappointed. Like Lynn had said something that completely misinterpreted the situation.

She gave a soft sigh.

"No, but I do."

Lola walked off, and started examining each shelf and aisle of the store. Lynn realized she must have said something wrong, and started to walk after her.

"Hey, hey, Lola, did I say something wrong?"

"Forget it, Lynn. It's nothing," Lola replied.

"Clearly it's something. Spit it out."

Lola sighed again and looked into Lynn's eyes. "Lynn, I have set a very high standard for myself. That mostly involves my personal appearance, which is why I look so incredible," she said as she did a little twirl, "But it also includes my relationship with others, especially my twin sister. Now, on this most important of days, I need to get her something amazing, not because she has high standards, but because I do. Do you understand?"

Lynn nodded, trying to absorb everything Lola said. It made sense now, why they had come all the way to the hardware store, when she could have just gotten a pile of cat treats. It was… almost like…

"A competition."

"What?" Lola asked with confusion.

"You're in a competition with Lana, to get a better gift. You're treating this like a big race against Lana to see who can buy something nicer, and you're scared she'll win."

Lola looked aghast. "What, no, you're COMPLETELY off…"

"Lola, it's not a bad thing."

…

If Lola looked confused before, now she was completely bewildered. "What do you mean?"

Lynn smiled at her. "It just means that you really care about her, and you want her to walk away from today with more than you. It's… it's a good type of contest," Lynn said with a bit of a shrug, "Sorry, I'm not that good at explaining myself."

But Lola smiled and shook her head. "I completely understand. You know, we're not too different."

"How so?"

"We're both pretty competitive. It doesn't matter if it's a glamorous and artful beauty pageant, or a grimy and yucky soccer match, we both want to win, no matter what the obstacles," she gave a little chuckle, "One could say we… live to win."

"Or maybe… we live to Ly…"

"Continue that sentence, and you'll find out exactly what happened to Seymour."

Lynn gulped. "I thought we made Seymour up to trick Lincoln."

Lola went back to her usual evil smile, "Like I said… you'll find out."

"Ok, ok, let's keep looking for Lana's present, shall we?" Lynn said, desperate to change the topic. Lola beamed and pointed behind Lynn's head. "No need, I think we've found the perfect gift," she said, prompting Lynn to see what she was pointing at.

It was... the most beautiful thing either of them had ever seen. A strong, thick toiler augur, even greater than Lana's Big Bertha, stared down at them. It looked as though it had been expertly crafted by a master of smithing, shined and cleaned by the greatest cleansers, and put on display by a person with a perfect sense of symmetry.

"It's perfect," whispered Lola in excitement. She reached into her small purse, and pulled out a large wad of dollar bills.

"Woah, how did you get all that?" asked Lynn, impressed.

"I get the money from pageants," Lola answered nonchalantly "But there is the small problem that I need just a little bit more to buy it. Lynn, can you share something?"

"Sure. Sometimes I think that Dad has certain expectations for me because I bear his name, and I'm worried that I won't be able to live up to them," the athlete responded with an anxious look on her face.

Lola face-palmed. "MONEY, you imbecile. Can you share some MONEY?"

"Oooooh," Lynn reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumbled up 10. "Here you go," she said as she handed it over to her younger sister. Lola thumbed through the money, counting each and every bill, even going so far as to search her purse for coins. Eventually, she smiled, seemingly satisfied by the amount before her.

"Finally... I can get something good for Lana," she said in a very relieved voice. Lynn smiled; it was very sweet to her. Lola looked back to her older sister, before giving her a hug. "Thank you, Lynn. For helping me today" she said.

Lynn returned the hug. "No problem, sis."

They took a few more seconds of embracing, before they remembered they were hugging it out over a toilet appliance.

* * *

After they got back home, Lola excited rushed up the stairs to Leni's room, hoping to wrap the tool up before Lana could get a look at it. Lynn for the most part, was tired, after her day of multiple shopping leaves. Lori headed out back to her part-time job, once she made sure that Lynn and Lola went back inside. Lynn saw some of her siblings in the dining room playing board games, but decided that she would rather rest ("And give them a chance to actually win," she chuckled to herself).

Lynn sat back down on her bed, lying on her back, and started throwing a small bouncy ball at the ceiling and catching it when it fell down.

"Don't even worry, little bouncy ball, I'd never let Lola hurt you," she cooed, obviously influenced by Lucy's humanization of inanimate objects.

She continued throwing the ball up and down until she heard Lana call out for her:

"LYNN!"

Lynn sighed and put down her little bouncy ball, and sat up on her bed. Duty called yet again.

* * *

 **Well, we made it. I finally locked down all of the Loud siblings. I'm feeling proud of myself.**

 **Now that I'm looking outside the family for inspiration, that's got me thinking about a name that I've been dropping a lot: Francisco. The original plan was to write more chapters of this story with him (as well as Margo and Tanya) getting more involved, but I wonder if I should create a whole new story, focusing on the ship. I want to ask you guys; which would you prefer? I honestly could either way…**

 **Of course, just in case this is the last chapter, I'd like to thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoyed each sibling's bonding time. It was a blast writing each sibling-interaction and every joke, and the support everyone gave really encouraged me. Thank you all so much.**


	13. Afterword

**Hey everyone. Automata here, trying to artificially increase my word cou…**

 **I mean, bringing you the afterword for Live to Lynn.**

 **As you can tell from the description above, this story is now "complete." I thought that might be enough, but then I realized I should give an actual explanation:**

 **I've decided to go the route of publishing a new story, focusing on Lynncisco, though it should be generally the same as this story. While it might not be as episodic, I want it to have the same themes, humor and general flow of this one. I also plan to make it revolve more around Lynn's school and sports life, though her family will still be involved a lot (they're kinda supposed to be). But you should expect to see more of Francisco, Margo and of course Tanya (Given the positive reception she's gotten, she will play a bigger role in this new story). I'm already starting a general outline, and planning a longer story. I just need to come up with a clever pun name (It's nonnegotiable XD).**

 **So, let me take a second to talk about this story. In my original idea, it was supposed to be about the middle children of the Loud family (Lucy, Lincoln and Lynn) and short episodic cuts from their lives. But when I actually sat down and started writing down ideas, I found that 4/5's of them were Lynn-centric. I realized that it would be easier for me to write for her exclusively, so I did. And let me say, if I ever had a bad day, I was always refreshed by getting home and writing one of these stories. I loved making jokes, throwing in references, getting responses, sometimes replying to responses and other times feeling guilty for not replying to a response. It was a blast doing this.**

 **If I had to declare my favorite chapters, they would be the Lori and Leni ones. The Lori chapter is the one I feel was the most like an episode of the show, and the Leni one just had so much going on that I just love it to death. But of course, I loved writing each and every single chapter, especially the April Fools one ;D**

 **Finally, I'd like to take the opportunity to give a shout-out to a writer who truly deserves one: LittleMonsoon. My writing is competent (at best), while LittleMonsoon's writing is superb. I've read stories they've uploaded, and they are amazing. So please, check them out.**

 **That's it for now. Thank you, everyone, for reading. Thank you to my followers and… favoriters (I don't know what to call you guys) and thank you to the people who read casually. I'm just glad I got to share some stories I had about a show I love, and give one of my favorite characters some good representation.**

 **If there's one last thing I'd like to say, it's this:**

 ***Whispers to himself:*** _ **I deserve so much more than this.**_

 ***Types on the keyboard:* Hope you enjoyed, and please stayed for my upcoming stuff (Or don't. I'm not your parent or your ruler. I can't tell you what to do).**


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